Monday, March 06, 2006

Finding Balance



Here are a few photos that dad took after church yesterday. I'm not so thrilled with the ones of me, but overall I love them. I think Bella looks so cute, and the one with my dad is priceless.
While internally grumbling about some of the less-than-perfect pictures of myself, I was reminded of something. (really, this is in no way, shape, or form any attempt at fishing. Reality here to follow-)
I've been thinking alot lately about my life. I tend to be very introspective, constantly monitoring my motives. I always stop and wonder why I am doing, thinking, or saying a specific thing. I want to make sure that my motives match up properly with my actions-that I am doing it for the right and righteous reasons. One great guidepost that I have found to use in my life is of course, from my grandma. Most of you hear me talk about her often, and her words of wisdom and how they and her example have shaped my life. She says that "It only has to be okay with me and the Savior." I think that is essential to living a Christ-centered life, which is really what our purpose in life comes down to. In my ongoing pursuit to emulate my grandma, I really trying to internalize this concept. Lately when something is bothering me I first ask myself- 'How important is this?' I try to reasonably assess whether it is something that is worth my worry or attention. Then I ask, 'Is it okay with me?' then 'Is is okay with the Savior?'. If I'm not sure then I pray about it. This concerns everything from the most mudane and seemingly trivial, to more substantial issues. I think all of these shape us and matter to the Lord. One of the issues plaguing me as usual, is my body image. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't at least think about this, if not allow herself to be consumed by it. I have lost a lot of weight, and would like to lose a little more, but I still struggle. I'm trying to be objective and think about things (including my weight) with a more eternal perspective. I'm trying to asssess just how important something is to the Lord and to myself, and then give it due attention. This is going to be my new mantra as I try to live a more Christ-centered life and gain some balance. I tend to veer way off in one direction or another in all that I do and I don't think it is useful or healthy. So in my constant pursuit of balance, I will continue to ask myself only two things- I's this okay with me? Is it okay with the Savior?' Then done and done.

12 comments:

robin said...

I always appreciate your insights like this. Sometimes it really helps to hear a friend or family member reiterate what is really important in life. I too, struggle with body image issues, among other things, and often don't maintain the perspective of who I really am trying to be like - Christ.

I hope you continue to have fun on your trip! And I think the pics are great (:

Jill said...

I think it's great to stop and think about how important obsessing about body image is, especially in the grand scheme of thing. Of course, we all want to be thin, healthy, and pretty, but it's certainly not the most important thing in life, and definitely not worth spending all our energy on to achieve.

I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and to be able to run and not be weary and walk and not faint. (Looking great wouldn't hurt either.)

You already look great, so if reaching your goal and establishing a healthy life style is what you need then it's great that you're thinking about it and pursuing it. But if you are obsessing constantly about what size you wear or what you think you have to lose still then that's a sad state of affairs.

dpw said...

Grandma's words of wisdom always help put things into proper perspective! By the way, I'm going to start taking daily notes to help you with your Grandma quote book.

Hannah said...

You seem to post things that I need to hear just on the day I need to hear them, so thanks! Great perspective, your grandma is gracious to offer such useful advise and wisdom, and we are lucky you are willing to post it for all to think about!

You look great Jessie, I can't imagine not being happy looking as cute and petite as you do, but we all have our own inner insecurities. But you look fabulous- I mean how many of us have a hubby who links us as "My Talented Sexy Wife" (which a non-blogger might see that and expect some interesting pics or something :P)

Glad you are still finding the time to blog-off while there. Hope Bella is doing good as well!

rmt said...

What adorable pictures! I really like the one of Bella and your dad. I love your dad--he was so kind to me when I met him on your temple day. It was such a hard day for me (being newly separated and back in the very temple where we got married and all) and your dad made me feel like he really cared about me even though he didn't know me. I still get teary-eyed when I think about it. It was just what I needed at the time.
Anyway, thanks for your words of wisdom. You inspire me to keep going. Love ya, miss ya, glad you're having a good time.

little charlotte said...

I find your constant desire to be better inspiring and I love reading your insights on life and the Gospel. You're an inspriation to me Jessie and I feel so lucky to be related to you!

Timm said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Timm said...

You really are my talented and sexy wife.

FT said...

....and my talented and gorgeous daughter!!

Amie said...

I always enjoy reading your posts, you can articulate so well what so many of us think. I agree with Jill, I need to lose the weight to be healthy, I know that is important to HF but my aspirations of "cute and popular," I know I just put that on myself. Congratulations on your weight loss success so far thought, that is a huge accomplishment! Thanks for the inspiring words about a Christ centered life.

michelle said...

Thanks for reminding me about what Grandma has already taught me -- I think I tend to believe that Grandma is just too far ahead of me, but you are teaching me that I can and should be trying to emulate her now. I need to make myself more like her and the Savior right now. My baby sister has a lot to teach me!

mom said...

I am filled with emotion not tomention a tear of two. I want to live close to you as soon as possible. Grandma is for sure my hero as yours, but so are you, Michelle and Denise to name a few. Righteous daughters is the best gift in the world.

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