Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sick Baby


My baby is sick, and I did it to her :( I suppose it really is the flu and not food poisoning, or I wouldn't have transferred it to her. I was out with the girls for Rachelle's birthday, and all was going great! Then Timm called me at about 10:00 and told me he needed me home right away. Bella had thrown up everywhere and she and her crib were a mess. I got home as soon as I could, and found them bathing together. Despite the sadness of the situation, it was really cute. Timm didn't even bat an eye... (does that sound too feminine?) Okay, Timm didn't even 'flinch' whenever she vomited on him, which was several times. He just kept rinsing her off, and running hot water over her for her chills. She totally zoned out and just leaned forward, letting him rinse her in hot water. Her was very sweet to her. I have to say that we are both so fortunate that Timm is such a great dad- I have no complaints in that department! I changed her and rocked her (very slowly to avoid motion sickness) and she threw up a few more times. I've been in once more since then, but I hope she'll be okay for a while. I can't imagine there's anything left in her. I've never had a sick baby- I don't know what I'm doing! Despite the sadness of having a sick baby, it does offer some insight. Rather, clarity to insight I have already gained. I love being a mother. I suppose if I can say that even on a night that involves vomit-duty, I'm in a good place. I love my little girl, and I am grateful to have been chosen to be her mother. It's one of those cliches about parenthood that you find are really true- You never know how much you can love somebody, something, until you have a child of your own. I don't love Bella any more than I love Lola, but it's different. In this life I feel like I have something to offer Bella, to do for her. A daunting responsibility of caring for her and teaching her right from wrong. I get to feel the physical responsibility of caring for her, and thus the love that creates. With Lola, the only thing I can do fro her on this earth is live so that I am worthy to be with her again. She is the perfect one that does not need anything from me except for me to be worthy to be her mother again. Maybe I have the best of both worlds, and it is not such a trial after all? Some days I feel more blessed than others, and some days I feel mournful. Luckily, it;s getting to be more of the former. I know one thing for sure- I am so grateful to have both of my girls, and today I am very grateful to have Bella on this earth to care for. In sickness and in health.

9 comments:

jt said...

Update: I wrote this last night at about 11 pm, but it wouldn't post, so I saved it. Bella seems to have made a miraculous recovery just like I did! She slept through the night from about 11 pm on, I fed her at 6, she kept it down and slept until 8:30! Hooray!

Jill said...

What a relief to read that she's doing better. It's so sad having a sick baby, but it definitely helps remind you about being a parent and your ability to comfort them just by being there and holding them.

I love your perspective about your two s and I appreciate you writing about it as well.

Robin said...

Aww, that is one of the saddest pictures I have seen. Youc an definitely tell she doesn't feel good :(

And that was really sweet of Timm - hooray for good husbands! I can only imagine how tough it would be to take care of a sick child. I'm glad she made a fast recovery though, like you did!

rmt said...

Poor baby! That picture is so cute in a sad sort of way. Glad to hear she's back to normal.

michelle said...

I'm glad you only had to nurse her for a short while -- it could have been so much worse! I love the image of her leaning on Timm in the bath while he poured water on her. So sad, but so sweet. It's hard to imagine her just lying there, not moving all about -- she must have felt just awful! Great insights about motherhood.

Jill said...

My stupid filter won't let me put the work - - - -s and I never remember that until I look back later and see only the "s" sitting there like a glaring typo. Aargh.

dpw said...

Glad to hear she's feeling better. Caring for a sick baby is certainly more difficult than caring for an older child who can tell you how they're feeling and perhaps even make it to the bathroom on their own.

Tip for caring for vomiting baby: If they're throwing up, point them in the direction of something that's easy and inexpensive to wash, i.e. you, rather than carpets or furniture.

Loved your insights on motherhood. Caring for/serving others does tend to make us love them even more.

mom said...

Oh, that picture!!!! I just want to hold her! I love being able to see instant updates, and I love Timm for being such a good father and husband and son-in-law. There isn't much that makes a mother happy than seeing her daughter in good hands. I'm glad she's so much better, hold hope for Timm now too! As for your insites on motherhood, I always feel so thrilled and tender towards you when you express these often felt feelings. I am a lucky mother and grandmother. Thanks.

Hannah said...

I love your insights on motherhood, thanks for sharing them as often as you do. Bella sure was cute last night, her big eyes are just adorable. Glad she is doing better and I can't wait to see you and her tomorrow.

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