Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Only if you REALLY love Timm

Today is my husband Timm's 28th birthday!
Keeping with tradition, here are just 28 of the reasons I love him so much. I never actually disciplined myself to do one of these Hannah-inspired birthday lists. It's not that it's hard to come up with so many reasons to love someone- it's that it takes such real thought and examination to search out what we may never put into words. I know that I love many people, but I don't know that I regularly remind myself why that is-or actually tell them at all! So hopefully this will give way to the rest of the birthdays of loved ones that will fill my life. I can think of no one easier person to list...

1. He loves me.
This may sound too obvious to explain, but I will clarify it anyway. I don't think I'm very easy to love sometimes. I am so intense that my emotions are so-REAL. (To me at the time, but usually all of the time.) He weathers the storms and awaits until my sunnier self emerges.
2. He loves me unconditionally.
This is not the same as above. I have never felt such unchanging, unconditional love or devotion from somebody. I believe that's because while an ideal to strive for, it is so hard to put into practice sometimes! He is unswerving in his loyalty to me whether I fail or succeed, am nice or critical of him, whether I am grubby or glamorous, thin, or 30 pounds overweight with stretch marks. It's not even that he still loves me. It's that he loves me the same or more!
3. He has given me 2 beautiful daughters.
(i feel he deserves a lot of the credit with that whole genetics-father-sex of the baby-thing.)
4. He has been present for both of our children's births.
I have had 2 C-Sections and Timm has attended both of them to hold my hand, reassure me, comfort me. I have a hard time imagining quite the sacrifice this is to Timm, because he is a little squeamish about medial procedures. To witness their births is no sacrifice, but to watch impassively as they use what he later described as barbaric tools to open my body...he did that for me.
5.He held Lola.
It's more than that- he was one of only 2 people who were present when I found out that she had died. (The other being Shell) They are also the only 2 people in my family that got to hold Lola. He stayed with me night and day in the hospital. He let me cry all the time. He bought her casket. He and Shell picked out her burial clothes. He carried her casket. He comforted me and
patiently bore my near psychosis at times. He remembers her.


6. He is a great father.
He is so hands-on and affectionate with Bella. He doesn't lose his temper, or get annoyed with her. (or at least it doesn't show.) He participates in all of the child-care to the degree that he is capable. Bella definitely knows she is loved and that she can rely on daddy.
7. He is wonderful with children.
This was a main attraction for me when we were dating. He was so outgoing and friendly with his own nieces or nephews as well as Max and Lucas. (Lucas was eventually won over once he didn't get tickled so much!) I could see him holding our children, and that he genuinely liked, and was liked by children.
8. He is endlessly patient with me.
It takes a lot of patience to be married to me. Enough said.
9. He always supports me.
No matter how many times I have failed at something in the past, he gives me confidence that I can still do it. Whatever my desire, dream, or idea, he supports it fully. (If it is a sane or possible dream.)
10. He is a hard worker.
Among my dad, and grandpa, Timm is one of the hardest workers I have ever known. He is not one to shirk duty. He does whatever it takes to get a job done, and he is willing to do it. Until now, he has always worked 2-3 jobs while going to school full-time to support us. Even if I stress over finances, I know we will always be okay, because he is willing to work hard, I believe there is always adequate money for those willing to work for it.
11. He is a great provider.
Like I said, he does what it takes.
12. He can fix (almost) anything!
Now that I have seen Timm's handiwork and prowess for about 5 years, I am in complete disbelief if he ever says he can't do something. It isn't very often, but I usually badger him into admitting he can, or finding a way to fix it.
13. He does fix everything.
He freely offers his services to those he loves. He has twice given Michelle the gift of a 'handy man day' and has taken a few 'working vacations' to Denver to help with various household projects.
14. He never complains.
Timm will almost always do what I ask of him (so I am trying not to ask as much) and he does it happily. I don't know that he is always happy, but he doesn't complain about it! I never hear too much complaint from him on anything.
15. He accepts me.
This may sound similar to things I've already said, but it is distinctly different. He never tries to change me. I think that is difficult to practice in any marriage. Especially when there's a lot I could improve upon.
16. He is even.
He is one of several people that have blessed my life with their even temperament. These people are not boring, but a steady person that I know I can rely on. He is not flaky, moody, easily angered or ruffled. He's even.
17.He married me when he didn't want to.
That's only half-kidding. When we were dating, Timm said he was never getting married, period. After a time, I needed to know if that were true so I would know whether to continue our relationship. He said he would not marry me. As you can see, in the end he came to his senses with a little badgering help. July 25, 2003.
18.He married me for Eternity.
November 23, 2004.
19. He thinks I'm beautiful.
I was going to write that he says I'm beautiful, but as hard as it is to sometimes believe, I think he really means it! That's really something to me. Between my lowest weight and my highest with pregnancy, we're talking a 70 pound range! Yikes that sounds bad. Now I have the wonderful side effects of pregnancy and child birth: massive stretch marks, toneless tummy, C-Section scars and the general surrender my body has seemed to succumb to. He sees me in some nasty conditions, but hardly acts like its any different from my most beautified.
20. He loves my family.
I mean- he loves them. He took an immediate liking to them, in fact. He calls my grandma or Denise without my input and usually annoys me when I'm on the phone with anyone to tell them 'hi'. He seems to have a special love for Michelle and her family. He loves and accepts my parents even when my mom and I are overbearing.
21.He loves my kitties.
It seems I have been successful in convincing anyone I've lived with (parents, roommates, spouse) to indulge my love of animals. Since knowing Timm we have collectively owned: several rats, a large fish tank, a tarantula, too many cats to number right now, and 2 snakes. Not bad for 5 years. In general I think it is just an indulgence, but he does love our Smeagsy boy.
22. He moved to North Carolina!
When I got it in my head that it would be a good thing for our family to strike out on our own, he was totally on-board. In fact, I think he would have accepted just about anywhere I wanted to go, and all the better if it were near family. He let me takes the reins and direct our path.
23.He is forgiving.
There is much to forgive in a relationship with me. The mood swings, the extreme highs and lows, the housekeeping skills I lack, like cooking...Whether the house is a disaster or immaculate he praises me. If we argue, we always resolve it quickly. Neither one of us can hold a grudge.
24. He is affectionate.
Timm loves to show me he loves me by constant contact! He is always kissing me, hugging me, cuddling, holding... whatever is convenient. He expresses his love for me so freely this way there could never be any question. It's a good thing for our kids too.
25. He lets me design.
Even though our tastes often differ, he lets me decorate our home the way I want to. I consider it part of my 'job' so I selfishly want full reign- and he allows me to.
26.He is indulgent.
In general, Timm is quite indulgent in all of my whims, wants, idiosyncrasies, and ideas.
27.When it really counts, he listens.
I don't always hold his attention, but when I really need to talk he is there to listen and support me. (Who can blame him for how much I talk- he has to filter some of it out!)
28. He is reliable.
I can count on him, period. I trust him.

Well now, that was easy! Quite time-consuming, but easily thought of. I love you Timmy- you are the perfect man for me. I'll work on being the perfect girl for you.
Happy Birthday.

wow. that was long. and it only took me over 4 hours!

11 comments:

Hannah said...

That was awesome. One of my favorite posts of yours ever. Timm so deserves that post, and you are so lucky to have him. SO LUCKY! He is awesome- we miss him like crazy- Linc especially missing the shop nights and all. Happy Birthday Timm!

Beatrix Kiddo said...

Happy Birthday Timm!

michelle said...

What a sweet post, Jess. I will never forget watching Timm carry Lola's casket -- one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.

It does seem that Timm is the perfect man for you. I know I am completely won over by his goodness. He is so willing, nay eager, to help. He is such a hard worker. He is so affectionate. And I love that he loves you so much!

I love you, Timm.

Robin said...

Great post, Jessie. Timm is definitely a great man - he is one of those people I just, instantly felt comfortable around. So, happy birthday wishes being sent his way again from Mark and I!

charlotte said...

This is a great list! I love Timm and I'm so glad he fits so easily into our family! I can't think of a better match than you two--you're both perfect for the other. Enjoy the 3rd season of the Office birthday present (if you haven't already bought it out of sheer inability to wait a week!)

Diana said...

Happy Birthday Timm. I can tell you how much we miss Timm. I loved having him be Lou's good friend and in return my friend too. Jessie this post is wonderful you should print it up and scrapbook it somehow.
I wish we could celebrate with you.

dpw said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes--I really do love Timm. No one could be more perfect for you and a better fit into our family. Happy Birthday, Timm! You're wonderful!

ftaylor said...

WOW!! What a nice post...
Happy birthday Timm!! Thanks for all you do!!

susan said...

A wonderful tribute. Happy Birthday Timm, and thankyou for taking such good care of my baby. I love you.

Claudissima said...

what wonderful tribute to the man of your dreams. amen

Jill said...

This is a great post Jessie. Happy Birthday to Timm! He is a totally unique, totally wonderful guy, you're a lucky girl.

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