Thursday, April 24, 2008

Lemons into... Babies.


My little poppy seed is all grown-up! Not really, but he has transformed himself into a lemon, or at least the approximate size of one. I am now 14 weeks along and officially in my second trimester. I have more energy, am mostly well, and beginning to enter what is generally referred to as the 'honeymoon phase' of pregnancy. This does not however, preclude me from taking my afternoon naps, providing Bella does as well.
I assume all is well, but in reality I have not seen a doctor yet. In an ideal world I would have seen one a couple of times already, but as I am without health insurance and still lack an appropriate substitute, I am going on faith.
I don't want that to sound as irresponsible as it may- I am in the process of applying for Medicaid, after the discount program that I thought was our saving grace turned out not to be. After spending an emotionally taxing 3 hours in the social service department last week it was determined that we probably will not qualify for Medicaid, meaning that the total sum of approximately $20,000 will rest on our shoulders to pay. Somehow. And the hospital (of which most of that sum can be attributed to-) charges interest. In short, we will probably be paying for this child until he graduates from high school, and that's just the portion of money it takes to actually bring him into the world.
I probably won't be able to see a doctor until about half-way through my pregnancy, when we will know definitively the status of our Medicaid application. Most likely, that will only come in the form of a rejection letter, signifying the point when we can try and muster some tax money for our first visit, most likely the ultrasound where we will learn the sex of this baby. (a boy.)
Last week I would have painted a different picture and outcome. I now enjoy the perspective that things will work out. We are in no way an ideal financial situation, or even a feasible one right now. However, I was prompted for so many months that getting pregnant at this time was the right thing to do despite my misgivings and reluctance. I know we are supposed to have this baby, and things will work out to enable us to do so. I would prefer that miracle comes in the form of being accepted for Medicaid, giving us a free baby (at least the birth!), but however it pans out, it will work. So please keep praying that this mantra I keep repeating is true. :)

13 comments:

Diana said...

I have been praying for weeks now that you are approved for medicaid. I'm so sorry that you had such an awful experience with a social service worker, I hate meeting with them.
I love the picture of the lemon. At first I thought it would be a post on cleaning :)
Talk to you soon.

Amy said...

You sound like you're in a good place right now. I know everything will turn out for you somehow.

charlotte said...

I love your faith Jessie :)

Hannah said...

Sometimes I just wish these life lessons wouldn't require so much anxiety and worry and frustration! Being positive and full of faith is what will get you through, and being open to all possibilities so when the answer comes, you will see it!

rmt said...

Wow, I can't believe that you are in the second trimester already! (I'm sure your pregnancy is going much quicker for me than it is for you.)
I think it's hilarious that you refer to the baby as "him"! I think (and hope) you're right!
I know that everything will work out for you. Maybe not exactly the way you want it too, but the Lord will provide for you somehow.
I'll be praying for you.

michelle said...

Still praying for you! (and the little lemon)

Tasha said...

Jessie, I hope that this will be an example of faith preceeding the miracle.

20 grand sounds really expensive to me. I'd shop that around a bit, most OB's have a global price for maternity/delivery/post-partum care so long as things stay normal. I have never heard of self pay being that high.

I am really sorry about this, It sounds like you are in a good place with this and I will keep ya'll in our prayers.

kim said...

Maybe I missed something but isn't Timm able to get health benefits through his work? I wouldn't worry too much about it (we had Spencer with no health insurance b/c Jared is self-employed and yeah, it stinks but things usually work out.) You are lucky to have very generous parents that will most certainly help you along the way!

Jill said...

I'm touched by your faith and know things will work out for your family!

ashley said...

Hi Jess, I've been lurking on your site and never commenting, but now I must. Both Kathryne and I are pregnant also (!). I'm due in late Sept. and Kathryne in Dec. BUT, I wanted to put out there that Kathryne is in a tight financial situation herself and she managed to find a fairly low cost maternity insurance with a $5K deductable, but better than $20K! It also could be that you have to have it BEFORE you get pregnant, but since you haven't seen a doctor yet would it be horrible to apply under the guise that you don't know yet??? Not sure if that would work, but worth a try if willing. Email me and I will get you in touch with her if this sounds good. Love you and glad to hear that things are going well with the pregnancy! BTW, I was convinced that I was having a girl this time but all signs point to boy... so don't be too disappointed if your intuition fails you - hopefully it won't!!

Amie said...

I haven't been here for awhile so first... Congratulations! I didn't know you were expecting.

Even though I think our similiar personalities probably mean you have researched a great deal... I will still tell you what I know... If you are self pay the hospital (and I think doctors) have to give you the same discount as an insurance company (because you are your own "insurance company") which is a pretty big discount (at least 30%) but you have to know to ask. You know on your statements where it will say "charges" and "charge allowed"... that is the discount already negotiated by the insurance companies.

Also... there are lots of catastrophic insurance plans which don't offer great coverage but would at least cap off the damage at some point. Like the previous commenter said I don't know how it would work with you already being pregnant but there is a lot out there if you can get a good contact (unfortunately ours passed away so I am going off of information he gave me a few years ago). I know most states also have a plan for "uninsurable" people - which you probably are since you would most likely be denied because of pregnancy.... where you cannot be turned down but the premiums are kind of high.... still a better plan than an unknown complication that could come... a few months of high premiums would still probably be less than 100% out of pocket.

Sorry to ramble and be bossy. I just always want people to share with me... so I shared. It sounds like you are in a great place and you can't beat relying on faith. I hope something works out soon... it is the not knowing that is the killer for me. Good luck.

Denise said...

Faith in every footstep! I'll keep you in my prayers. (I'm also excited to hear that Ashley and Kathryne are both pregnant! Oh the great information that's to be had in reading blogs.)

Mom said...

I so love following my sweetest sister, Denise. It makes me feel like I am next door to her!

Great advice from all! I feel encouraged and hope you do too.

Re-read my favorite quote on The Spirit and then read it again. You will continue to feel better.

I have really been hoping for "Bliss" if it's a girl!!
Loving and praying daily...

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