" Where were you when...?"

It's 11 pm and the major news networks have just called the election in Obama's favor. It looks as though it is somewhat of a landslide, which I predicted.
I'm happy with the results.
I voted for McCain.
Hmm.
I'm conflicted, and a little disappointed in myself. Like many others, from the beginning Obama intrigued me. Regardless of whether I agreed with him, he was undeniably different and incited a fervor in the American people that hasn't existed in my lifetime. I was always impressed with his polish and his speaking. I just assumed I didn't agree with him on most issues since he is a Democrat. Admittedly ignorant about politics, I have taken the majority of my information and opinions from my dad. I feel like it's a pretty safe bet. He's intelligent, conservative, and we share the same basic values. I trust his information and advice. Still, I kept wondering about Obama. I asked my dad, Timm, even Hannah and Michelle various questions about the candidates to feel better informed, or at least to see both sides of the coin. I never disliked him. I never distrusted him.
Then the last presidential debate- Although I respect him, I realized that I didn't like John McCain. At least I didn't like his demeanor. He was smug, glib, condescending, and flappable. I was disappointed and enlightened by this opinion, but still I thought I agreed more with McCain's politics than Obama, even if I didn't particularly like his person. I never felt truly committed.
When I stood at the voting machine, I held my finger poised, hovering above the Presidential candidates. It wasn't an immediate decision, even today, in the last hour. I was torn. I selected McCain, and even then, I wasn't sure.
Afterwards I was still questioning my choice. Did I make the right decision? I didn't think it would actually impact the results either way, but it would impact me. Did I vote consistently with what I believed? Did I know enough to believe in a candidate? I'm afraid I was a bit cowed. This doesn't mean that I wish I voted Obama, though sometimes I do. Even when I decided on McCain, I still believed Obama would easily win, and was excited at the prospect. I felt like it would be exciting if nothing else. That should have tipped me off, that one of the candidates excited me. Politics don't excite me. You can't be excited when you are ignorant.
I think I was cowed by expectations. My dad's, my church's, my 'party' that I have declared, again based on my father's recommendation. None of these people did anything to cow me, I just didn't inform myself well enough and commit to choosing a candidate of my own volition.
Again, I don't regret voting McCain... I'm just not sure. I'm disappointed in myself either way because I was influenced- since when do I cow to anything? That is the exact opposite of my badger nature!
And how could I not be excited for our country to have reached a place where it would elect a Black president, and overwhelmingly so? I'm proud to have witnessed and participated in such an important and historic event in our country, democracy, and the world alike.
As I listen to McCain's resignation speach, I like and respect him more. That was perhaps the most affection I've felt for him. Still I feel bad for John McCain, the old codger.
Bella will be excited. She'll get to hear her favorite name- her candidate many- many times over the next 4 years.
Right or wrong, I'm excited for this presidency and the inevitable change it will bring.