This is one of the los that I am submitting for Hall of Fame. Now, it says that they can't be previously published, but I assumed this would be okay- what do you guys think? Let me know...Here's the journaling. (sorry about my shadow....)"When I was a misguided teenager, I defined myself by the music I listened to, the clothes I wore, and the friends that I had. As I grew older, I eventually shed that image and found more substantial, intrinsic values to guide me. I never would have believed my life to this point if you could have shown me... The last few years have been especially eventful, and at times nearly impossible. I experienced a severe depression after I went away to school, which has only been resolved in the last couple of years. In less than two years time, Timm and I were married, got pregnant, bore and buried our 1st child Lola, got sealed in the temple, and then experienced the successful birth of Isabella. For a while I felt like a victim of so many things. I felt defined by my struggle with depression, which led me to the outskirts of the church and my family. Then Timm and I got married and began working towards going to the temple. Then of course, came the greatest struggle and trial of all- Lola’s death. I felt defined by my grief until this last year sometime, and then defined by my new role as a mother this year. So many life-altering and all-consuming roles I have experienced. These things are all in the past, but live on in the present within me. I have been shaped and molded by my experiences.
So who am I today? Today I feel like I am coming into my own, after a long hiatus. I feel like I am getting to know the true me after being clouded with so much LIFE. I am happy. I am active in church, and sealed to my family- Timm, Lola, and Bella. I have two wonderful daughters- one here on earth, and one waiting for me. I have a sense of peace and assurance about the future and my place. I know that I am a daughter of God, and that is the most intrinsic of all beliefs that guide me. I am feeling great physically. It has taken me 8 months since Bella was born to feel this way. After 2 back-to-back pregnancies, I was able to shed 65 lbs! I feel like I am experiencing a creative revival! Lately I have given myself permission to be more artistic, playful, free, and personal in my design. I don’t feel ruled by anyone else’s vision, but rather inspired by their greatness! Even as a self-confessed embellishment junkie, this page is ‘busier’ than most of my designs, but I wanted to showcase things that I love- all things girly and feminine, flowers, sparkle, buttons, and ribbon! I feel loved, and happy, and at peace. This is who, where, and what I am today- January 20, 2006"
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7 comments:
Wow Jessie, what a fantastic layout. It's very creative visually (how do you manage to do that?) and the journaling is powerful and sincere. You're very blessed to be having these feelings at age 24--that's still so early in the scheme of things, but then you've packed a lot into your years. I can't wait to see the rest of your stuff. Also, how did you take the pictures?
that was fast- thanks Jill! Umm, I took the pictures, just holding the camera out with one hand- I'm sure we've all done that! They turned out better than I thought, and I heard your voice in my head telling me to use natural light from the side, so that's what I did. I've been inspired by Elsie Flannigan lately. Did you know that the first time she was published in CK was in October? And now she is beginning to design a product line and she is everywhere! Sheesh.
I can't believe you could get such great pictures from just holding the camera out like that. The lighting is perfect and you look great. That's amazing.
I enjoy Elsie Flannigan too and visit her blog regularly.
http://elsieflannigan.blogspot.com/
Well done. I love the layout.
Dear Jess,
NICE JOB!!
I did not know that you were a blogger. (I knew, of course, that you are a badger!!)
I am touched by your comments, expressions of feelings. I continue to be very proud of you. The way that you handle situations, especially adversity. I am impressed with your creativity, and your character and personality....you could say that you are my favorite!!(One of my favorites).
All my love,
FT
Very cool, Jess. Now I need to see it in person so I can examine it in detail. What are all those cute flowers? Great title. You even got a comment from Dad! (Wait, I thought Ryan was Dad's favorite....)
How many times I have wondered in awe how such a fine and inspiring woman could have come from me! Then I realize that so many influences from generations of Petersens and Taylors have had their influence on this intense and vibrant spirit, Jessie! I have seen the lows and the highs,m been deeply saddened and wonderfully touched with unspeakable joy just as you have ,Jessie. I am overwhelmingly proud of you for all things you speak of and often feel an urgent need to be near you and Michelle just to learn your skills and strengths in so many areas. Indeed, your young life has presented an abundance of critical challenges which have been met headon. The awesome feelings of admiration for you and your sister that flooded over me after leaving you shortly after Lola's burial return to me often and I am often returned to my thoughts of deepest gratitude for such a daughter(s). You are an example to me and I am grateful for your spirit. When I retire,I am going to learn many things from my daughters. I am trying to remind myself often of your comments regarding my ability to change the things I do not like about myself and my life! Thanks for the insite! I love love love you and guess I am guilty of Grandma's saying, "Every mother crow thinks her baby's blackest"! I'm a lucky mother. Keep inspiring me.
That's beatiful, Jessie. Your talent never ceases to astound me. (:
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