Saturday, February 25, 2006

Rainy Day


This is how I feel today-depressed. I don't really know why-not one specific reason anyway. As most of you already know, I struggle with depression. I just have to work a little harder than most people to try and be happy, and some days are worse than others. The only reason I'm blogging this is that I have nothing else to say. I just fell blah... if I didn't have Bella, I'd probably curl up and watch Lifetime movies while snacking all day. Maybe read and drift off to sleep. But alas, I will just have put with Bella instead and try and be creative. This is super lame, but I feel part of blogging is just being honest and available, and that's me. BTW, I am sort of regretting urging Timm to keep up on my blog because he used something I wrote against me today... Maybe that's not the best way to put it. He 'reminded' me of something today. It's not his fault, it's mine, but I was still thinking, 'hmm.. if only I didn't blog everything.'
Forgive me for this lame and melancholy blog, but it's part of the jt territory and friendship you have subscribed to- now's your chance to get out if you didn't already know, I struggle with depression!

4 comments:

Jill said...

Oh Jessie I feel for you. I have days like that too and I it. It's inexplicable and hard to get out of. It's particularly awful on a gorgeous day like today. My advice is to get out of the house, take Bella for a walk or to feed the ducks at Utah Lake, or walk around campus or something. Also, doing something for someone else is always helpful (though on days like this it's the last thing you feel like doing). Making something is a good plan too, something creative or even baking. Also, don't apologize for a melancholy blog, it's better to be honest. Remember...you love clementines.

michelle said...

I hate days like that, Jess. Have you been keeping up with your meds? Sometimes it just happens, part of the ebb and flow. I was starting to feel like that, too, then something happened to remind me how blessed I am. See my blog.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, be happy! Well, I myself have been very discouraged myself lately, and have found that I simply must turn to the Spirit to lift and boost me. I am so overwhelmed with my business, the move the downsize which isn't that much of a financial gain if any.... the retail staff, the bills...,..I don't get overwhelmed that often, but I have really been blue and worrisome the past few weeks. Then, suddenly, in the middle of all of it, the Spirit overwhelms me with a calm sweetness that is so direct I cannot deny it, but I wonder what in the world do I have to be calm about ??!! I just know it is a direct answer to my daily plea to know and recognise the promptings of the Spirit and to have wisdom and knowledge beyond my own. Why does it surprise me? Today is Saturday and we unloaded the garage.....oh boy, wait till you see it. I cant imagine we will get through it, but for some odd reason, it looks alittle exciting, yet forboding! I look forward to this mindless and sentimenal work instead of the stresses I am now dealing with with my company. Can't wait to see you all and I am wondering what will the babies do? I wish I had a photos to post. No one would believe what you will see! I pray for you everyday and will continue to do so, especially regarding your depression. I love you.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel, Jessie. I get particularly frustrated when I feel down in the dumps and I can't even put my finger on a particular thing that I'm sad about. It just happens, I guess. Keep your chin up, and you could try returning my phone calls! I miss you!

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