Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Happy Birthday Michelle!!!

Today is Michelle's 35th Birthday, so a big shout out to her!! I am so excited about the gift I am giving her. I love it when you have a gift that is so perfect (I think...) that you just can't wait to give it and see the expression on their faces. I would post a picture, but a) I haven't given it to her yet, and b) My camera still sucks. But here's a surprising hint: I didn't make it!! (That saved some time!) I can't wait. Michelle is an amazing sister and friend, and I am so lucky to call her both. I love you Shell!
Yesterday was a pretty cool day. I went to Target to do a return and got a cute black cardigan that I needed, and a black tank top. I am very excited about the tank- they are on sale for 5.99 until Saturday and they are 'long and lean'- perfect for layering underneath everything so that I'm not constantly exposing myself. (Not a pretty sight-I'm doing the world a favor.) I want to go back and get several colors. You should check it out- cheap until Saturday. There are 2 different styles also, one has a high back and is pure cotton, and the one I got is a stretchy blend with a scoop back. Both are Mossimo brand. I realize that may be boring detail for some of you, but I also thought some of you may want to partake and needed the necessary details. After picking that up I also got some scrapbook storage that is actually for hardware. It's a wall-mountable until of plastic drawers. I can't wait to organize! Then- the best part of all- I saw a friend that I've been trying to find for about 3 years! She moved to Virginia and I lost track of her, and then I ran smack into her at Target! (I LOVE Target!) It was so good to see her, and we caught up for a while and are going to get together. (It's Nancy for the maybe one person who knows her- Bridget...) She has a baby girl that's just 2 months younger than Bella, and her name is Sophia. I was so excited, and I can't wait to get together with her. Yay for reunition!(is that a word?) It was strange, I mentioned something about Lola, just assuming she knew about her since it seems everyone does, but she didn't. So I gave a quick explanation, and I got all choked up! It's strange... I think about Lola everyday, but I rarely have those serious pangs of sadness... I think it's due to my medication that I rarely cry anymore. It's just a side effect I guess, and one that I've largely been okay with. However, I inadvisably took myself off of my meds about a month or so ago and I'm finding a welcome return of more emotion. (Some of you may be wondering if I possibly need more emotion-) So I credit the teariness to that. I kind of welcome it because like I said, I think of Lola each and every day. She is my first born, my baby girl, my perfect daughter waiting for me in heaven, but I rarely cry about it. I welcome the tears as a way to remember the emotion I felt at seeing her, holding her, having her...

9 comments:

rmt said...

Happy birthday, Michelle! I know what her gift is and I think she will love it.
I think it is good that you were able to cry about Lola again. Crying is a good thing, I think. How are you doing without your meds?

robin said...

Happy Birthday Michelle!

And your story about Lola touched me a lot. I know it has been and incredibly difficult journey for you in losing her, but I honestly admire your strength more than you probably realize. You have such a beautiful family (:

Bridget said...

Happy B-day Michelle! Enjoy your special day!

I am way excited that you found Nancy! I would like to see her too if you don't mind me tagging along when you guys get together.

I got teary eye as I read about Lola. I am glad that you have the gospel to help you know where she is and that sje is still very much a part of your family.

Hannah said...

Can't wait to hear what you got Michelle and her response to your great gift. I didn't realize you two were so far apart in years. Lucky you to have an older sister that you can really look up to in life experiences.

When I look at Mya sometimes I am reminded a lot of how close in age her and Lola would be and I am even more grateful to have her and grateful to have you as a friend and your strength, something I really admire in you.

dpw said...

Drats! I was just at Target earlier today and have been wanting some longer tanks. $5.99 can't be beat! Do they have lace at the bottom?

mom said...

I love our Lola so and get teary often over her. You are a strong and good mother. She is a wonder. I can't wait to see a posting of the birthday gift! Happy BD Shelle--you're a fab sister and daughter! I love all my girls!

michelle said...

Wow, you really ran the gamut with this post. Glad you found your long-lost friend and that you can cry over Lola again. I wonder often what she would be like at this age, how much she and Bella would look alike, etc. So strange that Bella has an older sister but we can't see them interact together (yet).

Love love love my birthday gift! Thanks so much!!

Jill said...

You covered a lot of ground with this post. I laughed, I cried, sheesh.

I'm so impressed with how you've handled the struggles in your life, and how you've matured so much in the last few years. I'm glad you were able to tell your friend about Lola and to feel and appreciate the emotions. That must have been therapeutic for you.

How are you doing without your meds, other than the increased tears?

Beatrix Kiddo said...

Hello! I know Nancy too. Tears are good!!!!

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