Friday, March 17, 2006

Struggling



Here is an example of a typical blogging experience for me... Smegel is obsessed with the cursor on the computer and trying to get at it. He chatters like cats do with an excitement usually reserved for birds and the like, purrs, bats at the monitor, and occasionally loses himself and smacks his head on the screen in his attempt to get the cursor. Some of you are thinking how funny this must be, and others are thinking how annoying... You would all be correct.
I need help. (In more ways than one, but in the interest of time we'll just focus on one this morning-) I am struggling with my diet. I don't rightly know why... after I've lost so much weight you think that would be reason and inspiration enough to keep on going and certainly not to gain any of it back. Sadly, I think of it somewhat like sin, in that, I think it's better to never slip up in the first place. I think I got off track somewhere by making food allowances, and then it's harder to right yourself after indulging. (I know- drawing moral relationships to food cannot help in trying to have a healthy relationship with it)It's days like these that it's hard to remember the wisdom gleaned from grandma that I wrote about in a former post. I think it will be a life-long test for me to try and gain balance in my life, as well as a healthy perspective on myself that is neither too critical nor too lenient. At this point I feel like I'm starting from scratch. Yesterday was supposed to be my new beginning, and it was a bust. I wish I had a live-in diet partner again (Ahem, mom...) I don't know why I'm having such a hard time, but I'm so frustrated to have gained some weight back, and now I have about 13 pounds to lose. Not so much in the scheme of things I know, but frustrating none the less. Especially since my weight-loss has pretty much stagnated in the last 3 or 4 months. I want to get back on the losing track! I need diet inspiration here, people.
(Also, please note that these posts are in no way intended to ellicit sympathy or words of flattery- merely a place to vent and blog off.

8 comments:

Jill said...

Creepy cat on the computer, yikes!

I am in no position to give dieting advice of any kind, so I'm just commenting in an attempt to be supportive. You have an iron will and look great. Don't be too hard on yourself, moderation in all things, plus a walk a few times a week ought to do it.

rmt said...

Your cat is hilarious!
Well, as you know, I'm struggling with my diet, too, so maybe I'm not the best one to give advice either but I do know this much: On the days when I am good and stick to my points, all day long I have been making the concious choice over and over again to care about myself. When I think about cheating, I think, no, I deserve better. Most of the time it's tempting to think that you deserve whatever junk food you're craving, but when you really think about the long term, you actually deserve the more pleasant consequences of being healthy and thin and confident. Does that make sense? You deserve to reach your goals and be happy and satisfied with your life choices. So I guess what I am trying to say is, choose to love yourself instead of feed yourself. MUCH easier said than done, but I think the more you do it, the easier it gets.
I think you're doing great, and don't forget how far you've come already! You can do it, Jessie!

Hannah said...

When your page loaded I was a little creeped out, but I think I am getting used to the look of your cats. Before long I might even be able to say that I don't mind them.

Diet inspiration...this is something I think many of the people who look at your blog struggle with. My answer is always to focus on exercise and then the eating might be easier. But if my stupid blog wasn't having issues today, you would see that I am struggling with exercise today/lately...maybe telling yourself that you need to start over and take it from the basic beginning would be good. And you are starting from a lower weight starting point, so that is something to be happy about. Moderation is the key though, right?

michelle said...

Too funny about Smeagle. I'm with you in the diet struggle. This week I got way off track with my birthday and haven't managed to get back on yet. I shudder to think how much backsliding I have done. I fear that Hannah may be right about the exercise... I like what rmt said about being good to yourself. Maybe a change of attitude is what I most need?

dpw said...

Here's what John has to say about Smeagle: "Ew! It looks like a lizard with big ears!" Enough said there.

As for dieting advice, here's my drop in the bucket: If you want to be a thin person, act like a thin person acts. Does a thin person always obsess about food and always think about it? Does a thin person eat if she is not hungry? Does a thin person continue eating even after she is full? Does a thin person eat one cookie and then figure that she might as well eat the whole bag full because she's already "blown it?" Does a thin person even pay that much attention to the number on the scale?

You've got to find a way to mesh dieting/point counting with real life. Real life has some days with lots of vegetables and some with lots of chocolate chips. (Unfortunately I've had more days with chocolate chips lately). That's real life. Live it and enjoy it!

dpw said...

P.S.: My definition of a "thin person" is someone "naturally thin," like Emily--not someone plagued with anorexia or bulemia.

Robin said...

Even further proof that Smeagol is one of the coolest cats ever. I don't know how - he just is. And those pictures are ridiculous, *I* think he is adorable in them.

In terms of dieting, well, you know my will is pretty much mush when it comes to that. Maybe one thing you can do is to try and always have "good" treats on hand for when that craving hits - such as those oh so delicious muffins you had me try that were only 1 point. I also liked the advice given by all of the above. Just remind yourself that you can do it - you have stuck with it before.

I wish I had better advice for you, but alas, I am a diet black hole. I'm rooting for you though (:

mom said...

Count me in for a diet pogner! Let's set a goal for our goal weight by the time we go to Charleston-that's very doable and it will be so good to feel good in beach clothes (even my beach clothes require a few less pounds to make me happy! Let's get back to Monday weighins. Don't forget that most of the family members consider you the diet gestapo, so live up to your reputation! The best thing for me is to constantly remind myself that I much prefer the feeling of control, if not depravation to the feeling of too many pounds.
And lastly, to quote a famous 3 year old, "to me you're not"! Here's to another Monday. By the way, I LOVE all of my tokens of appreciation and gratitude in the form of books, cards, and albums. They bring me smiles and cheerfulness everytime I turn the pages. Yet another thing for me to learn from you guys when I retire. Today I REALLY wanted to retire.....goodnite.

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