Tedious and Introspective Birthday Ramblings.

I have to admit to indulging in just a little bit of self-pity no my birthday. I wasn't really feeling sorry for myself, but just a little bummed out and maybe I felt the martyr just a bit. You know how once you're a mother your birthday just loses some of it's sheen? I'm still the mother of a 2-year old, and I still have to wipe her butt countless times a day, wipe sticky fingers, negotiate, and occasionally pander to her. Even though she is a very good girl and generally pretty easy, the household rule that we applied as children no longer holds it power: The rule that you don't have to do anything you don't want. Apparently Bella is not aware of mom's clemency on June 18th. So there's that, and then there are the facts that Michelle was still in Paris, and all of my other family strewn about the country. Timm had to work and go to classes all day, Bella was sick so I didn't want to hang out with any of my friends and infect their children, so it turned out to be a pretty normal day. I put on a cute outfit that made me feel pretty and just did some errands. While Bella napped I read a book. Woowoo.

{Documenting my solitary birthday fun that morning}
Incidentally, although I wish I did, I don't think I actually look like this- I have merely perfected the art of self-portraiture.

{Documenting my fun and cute outfit}


But things picked up, thanks to the generous people I am blessed to have in my life. Rachelle came by and brought me the prettiest yellow roses. How can those not lift your spirits? I can't remember the last time I ever got a dozen roses...Maybe never, actually.



Then I talked to Michelle for a long time and even my brother for a bit. After Bella woke up Timm came home and I enlisted him to go do a couple errands with me. (I find this a real treat because the 3 of us never go anywhere as a family owing to Timm's demanding schedule that generally keeps him from 'family' time outside of the house.) When we got back Hannah came by and brought me a gift and some balloons. It was the book 'She' that some of you are familiar with. I have wanted this for a while and never actually read through the whole thing, so I immediately sat down and pored over it. Even better was the sweet letter she wrote to me- I am always a little amazed when people I love express such sentiments to me, just a little unbelieving that those I admire can share the same feelings for me. Timm took care of Bella and put her to bed, then prepared my favorite meal, MooShu Chicken from P.F. Changs. That always tastes good. He favored me by watching the newer Pride and Prejudice and gave me gift cards to Target, iTunes, and 2Peas! (On Friday I celebrated with Book Club and they gave me a treasured gift card to Impress, which I promptly spent on covetous stamps.Now I anxiously await their arrival!) Maybe best of all though, was Michelle's post for my birthday. Honestly, I think I am most grateful for that above all the other generosities and love bestowed upon me. For a few years now I have thought of Michelle as my best friend and feel greatly indebted and blessed by the service she has shown me. I am often awe-inspired and filled with a calm assurance when witnessing Shell's easy demeanor. She is many things I am not, but wish to be a little more like. She is the model for a sister and friend which I wish to follow. So as I said before, I was (and still am) awed and amazed at her sentiments. It seems impossible to me that she really believes the praises she expressed, yet feel buoyed up by the possibility that I could reach some of those heights in my lifetime. Between Shell and Hannah's sweet words and the thoughtfulness and generosity of others in my life, I was left feeling very grateful and thoughtful. It seems no small miracle that we should be blessed by people who can see us apart from the way we often see ourselves. To see mutual admiration and love mirrored by those that I hold in high esteem is a little staggering. It gives me hope that I could actually be the person that they see someday. One of life's great blessings: friends and family who can give you a picture of another version of our self- one to strive for.
So in the end, it was a good day. The slight self-pity quickly fell away and I fell asleep contented with the vast blessings in my life. (And feeling a little giddy about my impending Impress delivery.)