Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Unauthorized Fungi

I know this makes no sense. I cannot explain it, and even when I try to the best of my abilities, it still sounds ridiculous to my own ears. Still, it makes me do this:
{Unauthorized fungal growth in my backyard.}

So here it is, the best explanation I can muster. It is akin to a post I did years ago (that sounds so weird!) about vegetables sprouting. Both of these phenomenons just give me the willies. It kind of makes my skin crawl, and I cannot identify why except that it seems that life is teeming all around me in places or objects that I thought to be inanimate or... 'still.' Root vegetables- I expect them to stop growing once they have been ripped from the earth, shipped to the store where I purchase them and resign them to the bottom of my pantry until a recipe calls them hither. When they grow, unauthorized, it is like they're being raised from the dead. It's like- zombie vegetables. They're exerting a power that seems just short of paranormal, and it's going on right under my nose and I have no control over it. Mushrooms are a little less offensive, because at least they have not breached security by entering the boundaries of my home. They belong outside. But these literally seemed to have grown up overnight and their prolific nature freaks me out! Where did they come from? How did they grow so fast? What will stop them? What are they feasting on? I made Timm quickly dispose of them.
{Their corpses.}
{Incidentally, why do we have to have words like 'corpse'? It's so.. icky. So is 'crotch', 'panties' and numerous slang words I won't mention here.}
Alas, they are also beautiful. They were a bright pumpkin color. I was actually freaked out enough that I could only take pictures from the deck and instructed Timm to take these close-ups. My freak-out was not totally unfounded though, since they were steaming and had juices running off of them. Seriously.
Timm of course thought they were very cool and was very proud of this find.


In retrospect (of an hour) I wish that I had taken my own pictures. Timm did a great job, but after they had been properly disposed of in the garbage, I caught a vision of some macro shots I would have taken and framed for my kitchen, orange being a main color. Maybe I can photoshop and crop some. So I admit, they are beautiful, and it was probably a bit of an 'over-reaction'. But it still makes me wanna go a little like this:

13 comments:

marc said...

Love the creepy zombie shrooms. Do a dot grid out of them and you've got the perfect Halloween photoshop project.

Diana said...

I read Lou what Timm thought of them and he said Timm should be proud.
Lou also thinks that picture does show excitement for Timm.

Susan said...

That's creepy, okay!! Were you grinding your teeth??!! And I had no idea how large they were until you showed Timm with one!!

Couldn't you market these???!!

I'm sure Dad would have wanted to photograph them too!

Now,can you post a picture of Bella in the ladybug costume, PLEASE?

Dad said...

You have some pretty cool specimens!! These could be a photo op....especially for some cool macros of the underside. Good timing for Halloween...even the right color!

paws said...

LOL. You did a great job explaining why they freak you out. I now understand.

I agree that are very beautiful. In fact, they would certainly match Sarah's new room color...

michelle said...

I am still cracking up over this. I have never seen such cool-looking mushrooms. I totally would have wanted to take pictures! But I think Timm did a good job -- I love the underside shot. And I love the pictures of you being all weirded out, too.

p.s. I have no problem with 'corpse', 'crotch' or 'panties'.

michelle said...

Hey! When did Timm shave his beard?

michelle said...

OK, I forgot I had to comment on the fact that they were STEAMING and had juices flowing from them!! Now that IS gross.

Denise said...

I was semi-okay until you got to the "steaming," and "juices" part. It would also kind of freak me out to have the take over my yard in such a way. The cool color is somewhat redeeming, howevever. Too funny that Timm's excitement is so evident! I like Marc's idea about a dot grid.

rmt said...

Whoa! That is so creepy! I didn't realize just how huge they were until I saw the picture of Timm holding one. Good thing he was wearing gloves, what with the juices spilling out.
Ew, ew, EW!

Claudissima said...

are they edible? so sorry they are so out of control and big....but if theywere good for cooking that would be great protein.

Jill said...

You're so funny. I was just telling my family about your fear and disgust with sprouted root vegetables the other day after making potatoes. How funny is that?

Those mushrooms are insanely large, I've never seen the like.

charlotte said...

I must admit I'm a little freaked.

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