I give you...
last year's reaction. (I just reread it, and did you remember that they were steaming and had juices running from them? Do you still think they are harmless and I am overreacting??) Afterwards I hastily put it out of my mind and rested well believing that the offenders were cut asunder and my place at the top of the food chain was well established and proven to any and all who might be thinking of plotting another such overthrow. Not this time, fungi!
Apparently they didn't get the message. They lay dormant for a while, scheming...I just mowed the lawn a bit over a week ago and there was absolutely no sign of growth. I did check while I was there because it crossed my mind but I breathed a sigh of relief when it appeared to only be host to authorized, properly manicured grass and weeds. Then today, I go out onto the deck after Bella's surprise, and I can't help it, I screamed. I swear I wasn't trying to be dramatic, and even though I braced myself for it, the sight instantly sent chills all over my whole body and I let a scream escape. From then on, every time i thought of it I got full-body chills.
I talked to Molly today and she pointed out that it was well-timed, being the day before Halloween. I replied excitedly with 'Yes! Because they're like Zombie Mushrooms!!', thinking that maybe someone finally understood, but she was merely referring to their pumpkin orange color. Damn it.
Really? Does no one understand this (albeit very strange) idiosyncrasy? It's anything that clusters- bee hives, wasp nests, small weed-like onions growing in my yard that I tried, futilely to dig up, just constantly unearthing more and more...even the word 'cluster' in this context makes me shudder. And 'piles'. Ew. There should not be piles of anything growing.
Robin sent me an email this time last year called 'Grillin' Bees' and it was a story and photo documentation of just a sick ridiculous hive and it almost makes me sick to my stomach. If you're interested let me know and I can send it on, but be forewarned.
I'm really not afraid of anything. Anything else, I guess. I'm cool with bugs, insects, rodents, dirt, all manner of farm animals, spiders, snakes, you name it. I'll touch it, I'll dig in, I'm down. No fear. But show me a sprouting vegetable or a fast-growing brightly-colored mushroom in the yard, and I'm done.