Beaufort, N.C.

This is the apparently sleepy seaside town located right next to Morehead City where we were staying. Unfortunately we didn't go to see this beauty until the second to last day of our trip, but as soon as we stepped out, I was smitten. We parked and got out on Front St. which as its name would suggest, is water front. The street is lined with these charming antebellum homes with historic placards dating their construction, most in the 1700 or early 1800's. All of them were beautifully maintained with manicured gardens and picket fences enclosing their front yards and Southern rocking chair porches. All of the houses looked directly onto the water and the docks.
Like I said, I was smitten.

Window boxes: a certain sign of small-town charm.

I love these signs and their names.

Amazing woodwork and what looks like a reconstructed gas lamp.

The evening boardwalk scene.

I loved these oyster shells used as ground cover. Brilliantly cute recycling!

Just imagine.

Live music, nightly. I loved these two guys doing versions of the Beatles and the like. Love that scene.

Picture-squee.

(These boats were a favorite subject of mine.)

Can you say, 'privilege?'

Some guy building a boat inside the Maritime Museum.

These side-by-side bed and breakfasts were for sale for about 1.7 million each and would nicely fit my mom and my dream of running one. Sigh.

*Sigh.*

This badly-taken photo from my car window shows the city's town hall in what appears to be an old train station.

Look at that green copper roof! Those steps, that porch, that fence, that brick entry...

Where we had my fancy birthday dinner. I love outdoor seating cafe types.

That about says it. It was indeed, a general store. The owner was so cute and talked to me for a while about the town, its residents, relocation etc. It had old wide-plank floors, ice cream and 25 cent candy along with the requisite tourist shirts etc that we obligingly bought.

Another take on that cool house.

I loved this sight of a woman with her dog and small child in their boat off the dock. Idyllic.

That chimney must surely be original to the house! I love it.

Can you imagine having your own boat slip, private with your name on it? So cool.
Apparently Beaufort and this area are called 'the graveyard of the Atlantic' because of the amount of shipwrecks located off the shores. Specifically Blackbeard's Queen Anne's Revenge. It is a scuba diver's haven! They lead all kinds of Pirate and hisotical tours by boat and by foot. There is also a smaller island that is still home to wild ponies, which you can see from a boat tour as well. Perfect!

I'm always obsessed with real estate and frequent the Allen Tate website, so this inspired a new rash of inquiries into small seaside towns. Beaufort specifically, but it is probably out of our reach. Even though statistically it only costs 1% more than Charlotte, there doesn't seem to be an abundance of available houses in our budget, for good reason. I've always wanteed to live in a small town. Liek a real small town, where yuo know everybody and everywhere you shop is locally owned and ran, you smile and talk to everyone on the street, you leave your doors open (theoretically)...Timm has always wanted to live on the water to indulge his hydro-adoration, and I have always loved the water and the peace and tranquility of the shore. The quiet, local, private types, not the crowded noisy smelly and unsightly public beaches. I have done dozens of googling along the lines of 'best nc coastal cities', 'affordable nc beach towns', 'smallest nc beach towns' and the like. Maybe not soon, but I think it's a dream that we could realize. It's not out of the question and one huge perk of Timm's profession is that we can relocate wherever we want. There will always be teaching jobs all over the country offering the chance to relocate and reinvent. Since the inception of my idea for us to move to Charlotte it has just felt right. Since we moved here it has felt right, like home. I really love North Carolina. I have always wanted to find a home and stay there- raise my family in one place that they can always remember and come back to. Because of this I don't want to bounce around, and i feel like Charlotte could definitely be the place where we settle indefinitely. Put another way, I have no intention or plans of leaving anytime soon, if not Charlotte, then North Carolina. I love this state and I look forward to exploring more of what it has to offer- the western region with the Smoky Mountains and Asheville, the numerous beach towns, the south-of Charlotte rural areas ... It feels good to fit.
But I will still continue to search real estate and job listings for other parts of the state, just to keep ou roptions open. Afterall, if we're going to relocate (within the state) we better do it sooner than later so our kids will be rooted.

5 Years

It's hard to believe that Lola Jane would be 5 years old today.
The passage of time is such an odd and confusing concept- so long ago, a lifetime, myself a totally different person...yet how has 5 years passed already? What comprises 5 years of time? What experiences, challenges, changes, accomplishments, and shifts make up the entirety of 5 years of our lives? What has transpired to deliver us to who and where we are today?
So getting sealed in the temple, 5 more years of marriage, 2 more kids, graduating school, moving across country, buying our first house, getting a real job, starting a career,missing and connecting with loved ones, making and strengthening friendships...That has made up some of it.
This is the first year that I have not been in Utah on her birthday. It seems a bit strange, disconnected, but not necessarily depressing. Distant though.
We haven't done much today in remembrance- it's tricky because nobody else knows or remembers the significance of the day, a day that changed our lives, perspectives, and empathies forever. I don't' want to be macabre but I want to devote the proper reverence and appreciation it deserves. We are going to buy a flowering bush or tree that blooms this time every year as a beautiful reminder, perhaps a hydrangea since they grow so well here and I happen to adore them. Maybe replace an ailing camellia right next to our front door. We also got Cold Stone for a special treat which I am halfway regretting as we speak. I feel like I just spent an outrageous $12.84 (seriously-) to further derail my diet (post-vacation blues has done a number on me. It's been a week today.) and feel bloated and bad about myself. Woohoo. I decided that in years following I want to do a simple birthday cake. It's a simple, low-key, cheerful acknowledgement of the day, for what it should be. Celebration and remembrance.
I remember shortly after she died and I was wondering what life-purpose this experience held for me, since of course it's all about me, and I wondered if at least it would help me stay the course- if remembering that I had a perfect daughter in heaven waiting for me would inspire in me a lifetime of diligence and purposeful living. I don't know if that's true but I do reflect on it and sometimes wonder if I am making her proud. Most of the time I am afraid that I am not. I'm afraid that I would cause a lot of head-shaking, hand-wringing and sighs to say the least. I already fear disappointing those around me here on earth, let alone a perfect spirit watching my life and everything around me unfold in a frustrating ripple of oft-repeated mistakes. As I lamented this once to Michelle she reminded me that since I am a mortal I am not expected to be perfect...yet. I hope that's true as far as Lola is concerned, because otherwise I am surely a huge disappointment to my celestial daughter in heaven.
I wish I could believe that I must have inspired something worthy of mothering a perfect being like Lola, but I think instead she was born to me at least in part to inspire me to be worthy. Let me remember this throughout my life and perhaps I may prove worthy in the end.
I can't wait to meet her again. I know she is beautiful, awe-inspiring and I know she is amazing.
And I know she lives.

The Outer Banks

For 3 years running my family was able to go to an amazing 2 million dollar beach house in Charleston, South Carolina thanks to the generosity and talents of my mom and dad. One year they invited us to Nantucket as well, due to the same generosity and talent. However, the last 2 years have been beach-less which is a travesty. The beach (or 'shore' if you're an Easterner like me-)has long been my favorite getaway, respite, and true vacation. This year Timm was able to hook us up with a house in the Outer Banks, North Carolina and my parents footed the bill, allowing us to convene there with them as well as Ryan and Miles. Last Sunday morning we made the 6+hour drive to the coast to spend the week in Morehead City. We could only stay until the following Friday and I am now in the post-weekend hangover/mourning mode.
This little Sandpiper laid a nest in a seemingly ill-planned place right under a small tree by the road and our driveway. She chirped and cheeped in loud protestations every time we came near which was frequently. She and her mate also entertained us with diversions and distractions of every kind. We hoped for the eggs to hatch before we left, but after monitoring it several times a day we left the eggs as they were. I love beach wildlife.
This house in Morehead City was located on the Bogue Sound, right on the water. As in, their backyard was the water. They had their own dock. It was so delightful. Here is said dock.
This is the side entrance where we came and went. I love the Carolina Jessamine growing around the door and the beautiful hydrangea bushes flanking its side.
This is the rear of the 3-story house, seen from the dock-a frequent vantage point.
Timm's idea of fishing. I don't blame him.
I painted my and Bella's toes a couple of days before we left and neither one of ours held up too well. I blame the demise of my polish on running, and Bella's on being a 4-year old.
We made many trips back and forth across that dock.
This was the rock buffer along the beach behind the house.
Our access onto the beach during high tide.

One of the rocking chair porches we spent a lot of time on. It seemed there was always a gentle breeze off the water and it would rock the chairs. I loved it.
This was one of our views to the right. That bridge is the causeway over the water to Atlantic Beach, and my dad and I went running to, over, across, and back twice while on vacation.
Our dock as seen from the deck off the living room. One of my ultimate favorite things to do was lay on a lounge chair on this deck and read. The surf was constantly lapping, the breeze cooling the air, sea birds cawing and the occasional boater going by. Private, serene, picturesque. Ryan and Miles could usually be seen fishing at the end of the dock with the rest of us frequently going across the dock or swimming in the sound.

Across the water you could see all of the colorful houses on Atlantic Beach.

Sailboats were common visitors to the sound. Bella aptly called this one the 'candy corn' boat.

Fiona enjoying some one-on-one dotage from both grandparents.

She soaked every bit of it up.

Sigh. I just love the beach. It is the perfect destination. It just feels right when we're there- the water, the salty air, the spray, the vibe, the community, the lackadaisical attitudes, even the humidity...It feels right, like we belong, like the way the world should be. A sense of utopia. A life and a lifestyle I could readily adopt. One I really want to adopt. I dream of it. I yearn.
I fell in love with the neighboring town of Beaufort in particular, which I will document in detail later. I feel like it is my destiny to realize a life in a sleepy beach town with my family. Maybe someday it will happen or maybe I will have to wait for the Celestial Kingdom, but in either event I am holding on to the dream.So what did we enjoy while there? The usual good food, many many games of Bananagrams in which Timm drove me insane with his speedy plays, a wonderful birthday celebration, naps, sleeping in, lots of help with the girls, catching up with Ryan and Miles, enjoying the dotage of my parents, swimming, reading, lounging, walking the beach, collecting shells, and finally exploring the other beaches and nearby towns.
For the most part our little piece of the beach on the sound fulfilled all of my beach needs. It was private, we could swim, fish, stroll, lay in the sun...we rarely needed to leave for anything. I wish we still hadn't left in fact.
My thoughts are so disjointed right now and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I am trying to haphazardly watch tv while I write this and remember...I need to reflect in a quieter environment.
More later.