Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mother's Day

Let me say, Timm did well. Last year I trained myself to have no expectations. On a day typically rife with conflicting emotions I decided to expect nothing, hold no resentments, bare no disappointments. It wasn't a great day, so it's for the best that i adopted this attitude. This year however, for whatever reason, I had expectations. I wanted to be appreciated, taken care of, and satisfied. Maybe it's because of the 3rd child I bore this past year, making me feel all the more entitled to a day of celebration and appreciation. Upon reflection, I think it is due to my own appreciation of my efforts. I am far from a perfect mother. Sometimes I struggle with merely being an adequate mother, barely competent. I can say however, that I am doing my best. I have a lot of room for improvement and I need to constantly work to improve and do right by my girls, but I can say that I am trying my best. I have done much better than I thought possible since having Fiona and adding another child to mother alongside Bella. I have surprised myself this year with my adaptation, acceptance, ease, and resilience. By my description it sounds as though I weathered some major adversities and trials when I actually refer to having another baby in September. Still, this was something I feared, something that caused me a great deal of anxiety, stress and doubt. But I did it, I am doing it, and I have surprised myself with my capabilities. So go on, shower me with appreciation and the accolades I have come to deserve. That's how I approached this day. Luckily, Timm was receptive and must have understood my expectations. That or he is actually appreciative and admiring of my mothering his children. Either way, well done.
It was a simple day.
It began when Timm got up with the girls at 7am, leaving me an additional half hour to sleep in before church. Then the 3 of them woke me with breakfast in bed which Timm prepared, a diet spread. Yogurt, strawberries, English muffins, jam, and the cutest little arrangement in one of my tiny vases. The best part was that they were all collected from my 'garden', or yard. It held Creeping Jenny which I never thought of using in an arrangement, Coral Bells, and Leopard's Bane. So cute and cheerful and satisfying to come from my own gardening efforts.
Then we went to church which was nice. The sacrament meeting talks were good- one from a grandmother giving her perspective she has gained in hindsight and her reassurances of our efforts and capabilities. We came home, I got the girls lunch (my only grudge-) then I went off to read and nap for 3 hours. So awesome.

When I woke up Timm took the girls out for almost an hour, then came home and made a great dinner- a new Cooking Light recipe (from the purple book) called Mango Mustard Chicken, jasmine rice, sugar snap peas and rolls. It was seriously good- we will definitely be incorporating that recipe into our repertoire.
Then I ran out and picked up a 100% free ice cream from ColdStone. (Mother's Day coupon.) I got fat-free sweet cream with strawberries which was absolutely delicious. Then he gave me an unexpected and extravagant gift- a portable dvd player for our pending road trips, flights, and use in my studio. Top it off with a RedBox and going to bed at a reasonable hour and I felt refreshed and at peace.
All I want for Mother's Day is to be appreciated and have the day off from all of the tedious Mother's duties I perform on a daily basis. I don't want to change any diapers, wipe anyone's bum on the toilet, fix meals, tame tantrums, pick up toys, clean the kitchen... I don't care about gifts, but of course they are always nice. One thing I would love that I haven't yet gotten is a card, a letter. I am a huge fan of the written and spoken word of love and appreciation. Tangible evidence of these feelings, something I can reflect back on, refer to, have proof of. So if this year is to be improved upon, it would be with this one gesture. Plus next year I won't be breast-feeding so I won't be the only one who can perform that duty, I would prefer not to change diapers, and not glance over and see my husband reading on the couch while I tend to the girls. I'm just sayin'.
The only reason I even mention these details is to be fair in my expectations and wishes. I can't hold him to something he doesn't even know about, so at least it's out there.
Well done Timm, and thank you. This Mother's Day I felt a part of a universal, timeless and unrivaled strength of women. A force to be reckoned with, one that has created and changed the face of the world. A very small and inconsequential, yet vital part of the whole of Motherhood- the greatest power, blessing, gift and charge given to humankind.
This coupled with my love and appreciation for my own mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, best friends and mother-in-law who have shown me the way, and this, this is what Mother's Day should be.


Susan said...

Sounds like a great day! Not like any Mother's day I've ever had!!

Good going, Timm.

michelle said...

I love your last paragraph. Love it. That is surely what Mother's Day should be.

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