Fiona at 6 Months

As usual I am a little behind in her monthly stats. She was 6 months on the 12th, but here we are. Let's move on. Fiona is still delightful as ever. I recall when Bella was this age I just loved every stage. I always felt like the age she was at the time was always my favorite so far. It continued for quite a while, but I can't quite remember when that tapered off. Luckily for Fi she just gets increasingly cute and enjoyable.
And here she is, sucking on Timm's toes. Surprisingly, Timm didn't orchestrate this maneuver at all- it was all Fi.
I finally started giving her solids about 2 weeks ago after it became obvious she was ready...following everything I put into my mouth and the like. She's a champ and enjoys every aspect of eating. Sounds familiar.
Right here it looks like she is missing her pinkie, but I promise she has all her digits. Just a funny finger-sucking angle. She has the same oral fixation that Bella did- everything goes in the mouth, and her three fingers seem to be her favorite.

On Sunday I uncovered this cutest headband for her. I am of the school of thought that I do not like what we refer to as 'brain tourniquets'- those heinous overwhelming bow headbands that look ample enough to staunch the bleeding of head trauma. However, I love this simple little flower. Why haven't I made these? It made her seem so big to me! Accessories already!
(If not a little cross-eyed...)

Love those big blue eyes...
She's just a joy to behold. I'm so glad that having a baby is more fun this time, that I can let go of so much of the anxiety, hangups, stress, and just enjoy this fleeting time of innocence. She is perennially happy, only fussing when she's hungry or tired. Although she does put up a fuss after I leave her to entertain herself on the floor for too long. Damn kids wanting attention and the like...Don't they know I have a house to keep clean?
I just enjoy her so much. She often communicates with growls and can carry an entire monologue is said fashion. No matter how many times she does this, it never fails to make me laugh.
She is really close to crawling. She can make it on all fours with ease now. She rocks back and forth and can even manage to shuffle a few 'steps', it's just the coordination of movement she doesn't have yet. Seriously it could be tomorrow. Crawling at 6 1/2 months. Lucky me. Super cute, but not a whole lot of time before I am baby-proofing everything and preparing for countless bonks, scrapes and other hurts. I should mention that although she will be crawling any day now, she cannot yet sit up. She seems to have a strong opposition to it, in fact. When I sit her up she arches her back, throwing herself to the floor so she can roll over and try to move. Interesting sequence of events she's chosen to follow. She's got priorities.
She still goes to bed at 7-Hallelujah! But everything else is completely erratic. She wakes up anywhere from 7-10 am, but usually closer to 8 or 9. She usually wakes up around 4 or 5 am and I feed her. I suspect this is more me being a sucker than an actual need for nourishment. Her naps are crazy. She used to nap for 45 minutes, to the minute every time. Now it is sporadic, but usually for the worse. They're usually around 1/2 hour now, with the occasional longer nap that I am never prepared for. I anxiously await some sort of order, longer naps, and a schedule of sorts to plan around...It's a good thing she's not my first because it would drive me crazy, trying to nap and constantly being awoken, living in terror, or at least anxiety of her next waking. Now it's just a matter of trying to madly scurry about the house completing housework. 'Tis but a season, right?
She's growing too fast, but I love this smiley, happy, chubby, rosy-cheeked cherub. Anyone who wants to get in on this precious stage of infancy better buy their tickets now! We're always accepting company!
I can't help myself. I have two more videos to post soon. One giggling, one growling.
So glad I'm enjoying this. Her. Life.

Fiona at 5 Months

(or 'Details only interesting to me, and maybe Timm.')
I just love this little girl. She makes good propaganda for babies, as Michelle would say. She is such a little joyous addition to our lives. It's a good thing those babies are so cute and make up for the miseries (and miracles, i know-) of pregnancy. It can make you almost forget what it took to get them here. Almost. Since I don't really know if she is our last, but there is a very real possibility that she is, I try and remember it always. This could be the last time I ever have to do this...or get to do this...etc. I used to think that I would be grateful for that perspective, that it would give solace in times of stress over teething, tantrums, or toilet-training. I know there will definitely be moments where I revel in the finality of certain stages, but overall I am not fond of closing that chapter. I find that I am holding back, reluctant to admit that Fiona is getting older, so fast!

I don't know why, but I got the date of her birthday mixed up in my head without really thinking about it. Because of this I kept thinking, and answering to others, that she was 4 1/2 months old. Then I was with Timm when he told someone she turned 5 months old yesterday (on the 12th) and I was shocked! I felt like time had been stolen from me and my time with my baby. 5 months? That's almost 6 months, which is half a year, which is almost a year which is basically a toddler and then she's as old as Bella is! What? I simultaneously wonder what our life was like before her and feel like we just got her! She still feels like a novelty to me. That smile doesn't hurt, and it never gets old.
With Bella I gave her solid foods right at 4 months, where with Fiona I am holding off. No need to rush things. I like that I can still provide all she needs, even if it ties me to her as sometimes inconvenient times. I love that this time around I am more relaxed than I was with B. I was about to say 'much' more relaxed, but let's not get carried away. I mean, it is much more relaxed for me, anyway... I've been through it before so it's not all foreign and scary, I know things work out and don't last forever, so I cherish the time more. I'm grateful for perspective.
So what is she up to this 5th month of her life? Well she is getting quite active. I'm worried that she fill follow Bella's lead and crawl with proficiency at 7 months. She back bends and arches all over the floor, when placed on her back she almost always immediately flips over without any troubles. She's even started kicking off from that position. Oh dee. She does the same thing in the bath and it cracks me up every time. She just learned to blow raspberries and is practicing that often with her 'mmm' and 'b-b-b-b' sounds. She's usually all smiles, unless she's tired. She is also similar to Bella in that she will only willingly sleep in her crib, and even that can take some doing. Once she's out, it's great, but getting there... I don't know why, but she seems to have to cry every.single.time. you put her down. The minute you place her in there, her face scrunches up and she bursts into angry cries of betrayal and hurt. I don't know why she can't just get used to it already! She goes to bed at about 6:30 (I can't keep her awake any longer-) and sleeps till around 4 or 5 in the morning, when I feed her and she sleeps until about 8. During the day she naps like clockwork, but for brief naps. She sleeps for 45 minutes, is up for an hour and half or 2, then back down for 45. Not really enough time for me to really get into anything.

Today she had her first vaccines. I know, I know, I'm a slacker. So sad. I don't relish those experiences. One more month and we have to do it again. She had another first today- she reached out, grabbed her binkie, and put it in her mouth! Twice! I was inordinately proud. So dexterous.
So that's Fiona right now, growing up every day while we try and enjoy it, remember it, and appreciate our lives together one day at a time.

Fiona at 4 Months

How did this happen? How is it possible that 4 months ago this little person was just a fetus, swimming around in my uterus with what I imagine amounts to gills, having recently lost the last of her tail?! Yet here she is- communicating, learning, rolling over, laughing, showing her personality...And so it goes. 3 days ago was her 4 month birthday. This last month seems to have gone by particularly fast-owing to the holidays I suspect. She chose this day to roll over from back to front for the first time and has been practicing it since. This was the very first time she did so, and she seemed quite pleased and intrigued by her new vantage point. Despite a small self-inflicted injury, she sure is cute, although she was not much in the mood for smiling. Too full of wonderment over her new accomplishment I believe.







I love those great big blue eyes that our girls are blessed with, along with that constant drop of drool poised on her chin, evidence of teething.
She is on a pretty good night routine of sorts. She goes down for the night promptly at 7 most of the time. She'll sleep for a few hours, usually waking sometime around midnight for her first feed in the night. There is usually another one, then a last one around 6 am. I'm not thrilled with the night feedings, but am so happy about the 7pm bedtime. I feel like that's when my day really begins. From 7am-7pm I may not be able to get much done in the way of productivity or enjoyment, but after 7pm, I'm a free agent. I'm trying to wean her off the night feedings, but she gets so mad! Her daytime schedule is not nearly so liberating. She naps often, as much as every 1 1/2 hours, but for only 45 minutes, precisely, each time. I can count it to the minute each time. You;d be amazed how fast 45 minutes go by when you are trying to clean/eat/get ready/rest/recover/enjoy...Usually it feels like about 15. Strange. Luckily she is pretty much happy whenever she is awake. When she is fussy, which is mild, it is generally only to eat, sleep, or be held. All of these possible reasons are easily remedied, so we don't hear much crying. When she does protest, she works up to it very gradually, as if to say "Um, hey- If you get a minute, could you help me out here? No rush, just whenever. If it's convenient. If you're coming by this way, I wouldn't mind being held, but don't worry about it. I'll just be waiting. Over here. So, whenever." If consistently ignored she will gradually increase her pleas until she gets the attention she seeks, but manages to be quite innocuous about the whole thing. Wonderful. She still smiles with little encouragement, and Bella can always get a good grin out of her. I need to take video of Bella doing her 'baby talk' to Fiona, a request I frequently ask when Fiona is starting to fuss and i am out of reach. Also, she's huge! Timm took her for a checkup about 3 weeks ago, and she was in the 75% for weight, and the 95% for height, although I'm afraid that's all in her torso and she has Taylor- short- leg genes. There's still hope. Speaking of those legs, she has the cutest super chunk legs that most babies have, but Bella never had. (Being in the 2nd percentile and all...) I love when she tries to communicate. All those guttural sounds she is fond of making, as well as the 'G's and attention-seeking coughs and yelps. I love to see her face light up when you imitate her language, as if she understands the exchange, or at least comprehends that you are communicating.
So that's pretty much Fiona right now. A love, a joy, a beauty. It's a good thing she's shed those gills and tail though, or she might not hold quite the same allure.

At Last

I think we're on to something.Last night Fiona slept in her crib for the whole night for the first time. Not through the night, mind you, but all night nonetheless.
Until this point, Fiona would only sleep in the swing during the day and occasionally at night, and only in my arms in bed at night. I swear.
When she was so tiny I didn't feel okay letting her cry it out and leave her somewhere to sleep that felt so vast and foreign to her. I believe that it is impossible to spoil a newborn. However, at some point good sleep habits have to be developed for everyone's good, baby most importantly. I hemmed and hawed trying to decide what point that would be as she approaches 4 months, the age when Bella could put herself to sleep. Last night it was decided for us. Our swing has been on the fritz which is not surprising since we bought it second hand at Kid 2 Kid for Bella. Yesterday it finally ceased to work after several maddening instances where it would stop swinging while she was sleeping, thus waking her up. So, I fed her and rocked her just into a delirious and drunken, though barely awake state and then transferred her into her crib. She stirred and began to cry. I patted her for a few minutes, then left her with the static from her baby monitor on, serving as a white noise backdrop to lull her to sleep. I timed her for 5 minutes when Timm went back in to pat her belly for a minute. She fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. That's all it took: 5 minutes. Done. I was amazed. She went down at 7pm, then woke at 10pm, 1am, 3am, and 6 am to eat. Good heavens! Now I anxiously await the next month when she will probably be old enough to go through the night without eating. I can't believe it was that easy. It makes me feel stupid that I didn't do it earlier, though who knows if I would have had the same results when she was younger. But I am making a note to self that it was so much easier than I thought and not to wait if there is ever a next time! (I say the day after, before we have proved it another night...)
Today she has taken two naps in there with similar results, so it's looking good. My baby's growing up!

Fiona at 3 Months

Ignore the fact that Fi is wearing a Halloween outfit. It still fits, so I took these a couple of days ago, at 3 months.
I'd say this last month has been a good one. About 2-3 weeks ago, Fi's colic symptoms seemed to have vanished! A heaven-sent blessing, to be sure. It was only intense for 4-6 weeks, so I was able to maintain my patience and keep a tenuous grasp on sanity. I always feared that colic was an indicator of personality, and if one of my kids displayed it, it would mean I was doomed to a difficult and contrary child. Luckily this does not seem to be the case at all with Fi. She is a happy child, usually only giving to tears if tired or hungry. She has started smiling spontaneously and even giggling within the last week or so. How I love those smiles and giggles! Just one of those little miracles can dissolve any stress, sadness or distress momentarily. Truly magic.
She is growing at a steady clip, although I still need to take her in to have her weight checked for this month. I also haven't yet gotten her first vaccines, which she was supposed to receive at 2 months- Oops! Her sleeping is still a bit of a torment. During the day she largely sleeps in her swing, and does fairly well at that. She seems to do best when we are out and about in the car, doing errands. Night, however is a different story. She is only happy sleeping in my arms, in bed with us. Sometimes I love this sweet embrace between mother and child. She sleeps so soundly, and it is gratifying to be able to soothe her so completely and so quickly. I love to hold her close to my body and gaze down at her sweetly closed eyes and steady breathing. I love the closeness that I feel between us, this symbiotic relationship that exists now outside of the womb.
However, I do wish she would sleep in her crib, that she would be soothed in places other than my arms. I wish that I had the option- I would still choose to cradle her and sleep with her at times, but also be able to lay her down in the crib and be productive with full use of my hands as well as enjoy a peaceful solitary sleep. Shortly we hope to begin sleep training, letting her learn to fall asleep and soothe herself. Up until this point I have not felt comfortable letting her cry herself to sleep, but shortly she will need to learn this skill. Why is sleep training so difficult- emotionally and physically for both mother and child? (as well as everyone else in the house...)

Her reflux also seems to be on the mend. She doesn't spit up nearly a much, nor does the burning seem to bother her as often. Hallelujah!
We have no such thing as a schedule, and parent her on demand. Bella was the same way- try as I might to regulate a schedule she resisted it until about 9 months old, so until that time we just demand-fed. Although, by 4 months old Bella was sleeping from 7pm-7am every night. I hope we can do the same with Fi just one month from now!
She seems to be growing so fast now, leaving the stage of infancy for a quickly-developing baby. It is a bitter-sweet experience to see your baby grow and change so quickly. How is it that we have only had this sweet girl for 3 months? What did we do before her?

Life with Reflux (a mother's perspective).

I've already detailed the horrors of nighttime reflux-induced colic, but here's an account of the rest of the side effects it causes. Sometimes she seems absolutely fine, other times she seems to suffer every textbook side effect of the disease. (Except for poor weight gain- for some reason she's go that down like a champ.)

Reflux babies must be fed on demand- no schedules allowed. That's fine by me since that's how I tend to feed anyway, except that because of the refulx, she needs to eat every 2 hours- sometimes sooner. During the day it is not uncommon for her to need to eat every hour and a half. There are two reasons for this frequent feeding: 1- they cannot or should not consume very much at each feeding. The amount they eat increases the likelihood of and the side effects themselves- namely spitting up and acid. 2- Feeding is a painful experience, and as they are reclined the acid comes up into their throats, burning as they try to eat. Swallowing is painful as well.
Besides being painful, feeding can be an extremely frustrating experience. She starts to feed ravenously and then pulls off either because she is choking, or because it is burning her throat. She pulls off in frustration, cries, realizes how hungry she is, attempts to feed again, repeat ad naseum. Eventually she gets so mad she is frantically searching but refuses to eat. In pain and hungry, we usually abandon that attempt and try again in a little while. Another reason for frequent feeding.
Of course there is the spitting up, but that has been significantly reduced by the Zantac she is on. Of course, she still 'ruins' my shirt several times a day and we can never be without a burp cloth when feeding. She no longer resists the incredibly vile Zantac which is a potent menthol suspended in alcohol. I tried it- it is truly heinous.
Sleeping is also difficult for the reflux baby, as laying down brings the acid up as well. They tend to sleep better on their stomachs, and it is sometimes recommended for severe cases of reflux. We alternate, depending on how she does and how much I need her to sleep. We still eat every 2-3 hours through the night. Sigh. At least she is mostly sleeping in her crib now! I wedge her in between the bumper pads and a boppy, so she feels secure. When she is particularly fussy she sleeps in bed with us, cradled in my arm so we can all get some much-needed sleep.
Another unfortunate side effect is congestion and wheezing. She has been really congested for about 4 or 5 weeks now. Constantly. We are frequently using the nasal aspirator to clear that out as much as possible. This also causing a lot of wheezing and the occasional cough.
Perhaps the worst symptom is gassiness- she is literally constantly gassy. Her stomach is hard and tight as she writhes around seeking relief, alternately pulling her legs p and flailing them about. I am frequently stretching and manipulating her legs, trying to help her. Even when she can pass gas, there seems to be little relief, as thre is always more that we cannot relieve.
So as you can probably tell, there is a lot of discomfort, pain, and frustration for everyone involved. Luckily she is usually at her worst when Bella is already in bed, so Bella doesn't have to stand by and hear the crying for hours, and I don't have to completely neglect her in order to fruitlessly try and soothe Fiona. Last night Fi started losing it right at Bella's bedtime which is a frequent occurrence. Timm was at work, so I had to put Bella down while trying to quiet Fi. The result is me rushing through the story and bedtime routine so I can get out of there and direct my full attention to the screamer. I'm glad that Bella's routine and attention is not any more disrupted than it is.
What I want to know is, why is colic worst at night? What difference does it make? Why do we have some days that go off without a hitch, and still more like alst night? What variables are there? None that I can tell.
I took her to an Ear, Nose and Throat (EMT) on Friday morning to rule out anatomical problems since her choking can be so severe. He scoped her and found nothing wrong there (her throat), but ordered us to go to the children's hospital on Monday morning to take some fils of her to chest. We need to rule out that there could be an anatomical problem causing her to aspirate into her lungs. Once that is clear, and I'm sure it will be, I will be referred to a pediatric Gastroenterologist (GI) who will diagnose reflux based on all of her symptoms. The only treatment we can really change is this case is to prescribe her a more proactive Prilosec instead of the mild Zantac. Colic sometimes improves at 3 or 4 months, but the cause and effects of reflux itself doesn't totally dissipate until their first year.
Oh deem, oh dee.
It's a good thing that I am experiencing this now because I have a better perspective after having Belle. I know that this time really is fleeting, just a stage, and i can only do my best. I am significantly calmer than I ever would have imagined, mostly because I have decided to be. She will scream no matter what, so I decide to be calm and collected. Why add to the misery by getting upset? I've yet to come to tears through through it all. We'll just keep on truckin'.
Incidentally I feel deliriously tired and keep nodding off while I am typing, resulting in almost intelligible writing. My fingers are not finding the proper keys or putting them in the right ordure of that matter so i better try and rest. Ha!
*edited to add* It is several hours later and I reread this post since I couldn't quite remember writing the whole thing, due to falling asleep during the process. I laughed my way through it, counting 16 blatant typos and leaving them all in place as evidence of my state of mind. You may find more...

Fiona at 2 Months

Fiona is 2 months old today. We had a doctor's appointment today to try and find a way to manage her 'colic', and she weighed in at 11 pounds 1 ounce. She's gaining at more than an ounce a day, and that puts her in the 60th percentile. So different from Bella's growth that had her off the charts, finally beginning to climb back on in the 2nd percentile. Besides her problems with 'colic' (to be further discussed later-) she is perfectly well and happy. About a week ago she started rolling over from her back to tummy several times, which seems pretty early. She;s more and more alert, although fortunately she still sleeps a significant portion of the day. Because of the reflux she still eats every 2 hours, and about every 3 or 4 at night. 4 hours is kind of a stretch.
She is a snugly little girl. I love to hold her while she nestles into me, finding ultimate maternal comfort. I try to take advantage of this fleeting time of infancy and her willingness to cuddle with me while it lasts. We finally brought out the swing and despite it's hideousness, works wonders for her calming and my productivity. She still sleeps in her bouncer next to our bed, when she;s not sleeping in our bed! The inclination of the bouncer is good for her reflux, so she probably won't be sleeping in her crib for a couple few months yet... Lately with her discomfort she is only comfortable sleeping cradled in my arm in bed with me. This is not my favorite situation, but my sleep is important to me, so I sacrifice a little bit of comfort for a night's, albeit disturbed, sleep. Hopefully once we get this colic/reflux/discomfort under control we can wean her away from us. In a little while she'll be old enough to sleep through the night so we can let her cry for a night, hopefully doing the trick to getting her to sleep on her own in her crib. That worked with Bella, anyway...
She still has a sweet demeanor, and her diminishing episodes of crying are clearly from pain and not personality. She is starting to make more and more little baby noises besides cries and wails, and I can't wait until she starts to 'talk'.
I devise many inane songs devoted to 'Little Fi.' She's still referred to as 'Fi Fi Kate', 'Little Fi', or 'Fi Fiona Fi Fiona Kate' in song form. She is a great audience and seems to genuinely enjoy my drivel. For that she has my affection.
All in all, life with a baby is fun and full of cuteness. What other creature can cause you to coo over their every bodily function, utterance and facial expression? Loving life with our newest addition and our family feeling in it's completion, at least if just for now.
Pictures to follow...

Weight Check

It's a good thing this is the face that is worth so much struggle at times, and always a joyful addition to our lives.
I took these on Halloween Friday, when she was exactly 7 weeks old. As of today she is 7 1/2 weeks old and weighs 9 pounds 15 ounces. She's gaining like a champ! That's exactly 3 pounds more than her birth weight in 7 weeks. I think that's pretty impressive, but then again I was accustomed to Bella's miniature stature in the 2nd percentile.
Off to console the fusser...

Fiona at One Month

Technically, Fiona was a month old last Sunday. She is 5 weeks old today, but it's close enough, right? It's such a cliche, but time really does go by so fast! Especially since I had children since it seems I'm always marking time by their ages and what we were doing when...
No one cares if you're 27 and a half, but 3 and a half makes a big difference, just as six months does opposed to one. So here we are, our first month gone already. I'll report later on how I specifically am doing, but this one is all about Fi.
She still sleeps most of the time but unfortunately her long stretches occur during the day, leaving the night to consist of 2-3 hour blocks in between feedings. Last night was 5 !? with hour and a half intervals because she is congested. She could roll to her side from 4 days old, and has been lifting her head a lot from the beginning as well, but she's getting slightly steadier, slightly less Bobble head-esque. I have no idea how much she weighs since her next appointment isn't until her 2 month check, but she seems to be filling out. Her chicken/old lady wrinkled legs have actually acquired a bit of fat, so she has small rolls finally. She's already grown out of the newborn diapers which I wasn't prepared for due to my experience with Bella's ultra- slow growth rate, clinging to the bottom of the growth charts and barely peaking at 2%.
She still has that beautiful hair and doesn't show any signs of losing it. She has this funny habit of arching her back and throwing her head back in an ultimate stretch that extends even to her lips as she thrusts them out in what appears to be some kind of satisfied grimace. She makes funny little grunting sounds which I have committed to video that sound akin to a lamb bleating. Maybe a lamb with a sore throat, though.
She's still a happy baby, or at least appears so during her brief intervals of consciousness. She does her lambie-grunts a lot, especially when she's thinking about waking up and eating, but her cries are still reserved for times of desperation. It's less raptor like now, and more like a real cry, but as I said she doesn't exercise it too often.
Timm continues to delight in testing just what she'll sleep through as he manipulates her body in various ways, and she continues to put up with it. She's still a fantastic nurser with quite the knack, and so far is proving most of my worries unfounded. Of course she proved my first and primary concern irrelevant in-utero when they told me she was a girl.
She's a wonderful and sweet addition to our family, and of course we fill more full because of it. Because I'm a spaz I still wonder if we're going to have another one, though now is not the time to be thinking of such things. But when that consideration arises I think both our girls will be good propaganda for another.