1. Thankful that Timm and I are really friends. Thankful that we have no secrets, that I would rather spend my time with him than anyone else. Thankful that I feel no judgement, criticism, or negativity from him. Like, ever.
2. Thankful that he forgives me for letting the house go to hell while I feverishly work to finish some early Christmas projects.
3. Thankful for sewmamasew.com and it's blog that offers many many ideas for inspiration.

1. Thankful that Timm watched the girls so Molly and I could go to Mary Jo's. Mary Jo's is a veritable wonderland of fabric and notions. It is like the Costco of fabric. Maybe a little bit WalMart too...It is aptly called a 'cloth store' and you can even purchase bags of grits and biscuit mix by the registers. It's only the second time I've been there due to financial roadblocks, but I dream of it often. I mean, they have a Betty Boop and a Civil War section.
2. Thankful for Hobby Lobby and their perpetual 30% off 'sale' on cotton fabrics so I can buy an already inexpensive cut of fabric for an additional 30% off.
3. Thankful for taking a huge load of stuff to Goodwill. The entire back of the van, including the back row of seats. So good.

1. Thankful that Ikea is just 2 exits away so I can take the girls for a fun activity for all. Bella loves their 'Smaland' play area and happily plays there for the hour that is allowed while I feed Fiona a constant stream of mini marshmallows, pushing her around the vast marketplace.
2. Thankful that Timm calls to see if we're ready to come home yet because he wants to hang out. We had originally left to give him some peace and quiet to work on an assignment but somewhere along the line he lost his motivation and just wanted his girls back.
3. Thankful that I didn't buy anything even though I wheeled around a few objects for an hour or so.

1. I am thankful for Alison Mathews (a friend in our ward and also our realtor) who invited us to have Thanksgiving dinner at her house with the other 25 guests present. It's a tradition of theirs and we have been invited in the past but this was our first opportunity to go. They wouldn't even let us bring anything! She does all the cooking herself. This year they had around 25 but he said sometimes it's more like 50. Crazy woman. Good thing she can cook :)
2. I am thankful that Bella caught an anole (a small lizard) on her own at their house. She wasn't afraid and she instinctively knew how to hold him, gently but firmly. So proud!
3. Thankful that we enjoyed the company of a new family in our ward, the Lees. Our kids are of similar age, cute, and Timm and I both enjoy each the couple- Promising!

More of a Thanksgiving update later. Come to think of it, Halloween too.

1. I am thankful for old family recipes like 'Great Aunt Millie's 12-Hour Rolls' and Pineapple Marshmallow salad.
2. I am thankful that I was raised in a family of cooks and bakers so I was exposed to wonderful things, taught essential techniques, and handed down the best of recipes.
3. I am thankful for $5 Hot-N-Ready slutty Little Caesar's pizza when I am busy with Thanksgiving cooking and preparation.

She Says

1. I was listening to 'Silent Night.' The part 'Jesus, Lord at thy birth...' and Bella says "Why 'Jesus Wears a Diaper'?" ("Je-sus wears a dia-per..." Can you hear it?)
2. Bella's chewing ice. She says, "You know who else likes to eat ice? Jill." Jill, I don't know what you do when you have those girls at your house, but you have made a serious impact on Bella with the infrequent times she sees you.

Making Up For Missed Lists

1. Thankful for the times when I fold my laundry load by load as it comes out of the dryer and immediately put it away, still warm. Like today.
2. Thankful for homemade pizza with pears, spinach, walnuts and Gorgonzola.
3. Thankful for Molly's pear crisp last night.
4. Thankful for late night bookclub where I share way too much information. Even for me.
5. Thankful that Timm has a few days off for the holiday!
6. Thankful that I've napped the last couple of days. We've got sick kids so it's enabled some laziness on all our parts.
7. Thankful for hilarious gales of laughter from Fiona when I sneeze, bless myself and then repeat ad naseum as long as I get the desired reaction from her.
8. Thankful to be dreaming of Christmas at my mom and dad's house!
9. Very thankful to feel at home, at ease, at peace with everything I have. Knowing I need for very little.
10. Thankful to have finished one book on Saturday, another on Monday, and onto a new one on Tuesday.
11. Thankful for freshly-bathed girls in their sweet-smelling splendor.
12. Thankful for a baby who still fits in footie pajamas.

Christmas Lists for Mom

My mom asked for Christmas ideas so I thought I would compile them all here and make it all as easy as possible. She wouldn't even have to go shopping, she could do it all from these links!

But first: A Christmas Public Service Announcement.
I try to live a simple lifestyle. I have said many times that I try to avoid excess, consumerism, materialism and the like. I have presents for Bella that I got 3 years ago but never gave her because I felt like I already had too much stuff. I adamantly do not want Christmases and birthdays of excess and extravagance. When purchasing or receiving something I always ask if I love it, if I need it, and if I know where it is going to go. So in keeping with this philosophy it should be known that we do not expect gifts from anyone. No gift is just fine with us. So are recycled, used, handmade or re-gifted items. If someone wants to give us a gift we welcome cast-offs from your own closet, kid's toys, Goodwill, garage sales... Just saying. We don't want for much, so I don't want anyone to feel obligated in any way. We are simple folk with no expectations.

Fiona:

These beginner crayon-type dealies.
I got her a toy phone and I am planning to make her a couple of things but other than that, I can't think of anything!
Bella:

Bella would die for these- this collection of Disney princess dolls. I'm torn about these...Overall I'm not for licenced characters in general, and I would rather promote my homemade take on dolls, but she is a 4 1/2 year old girl and I know she would love them. Even though she has only seen 2.5 of the 7 movies portrayed above.

A little bit frightening... But she loves My Little Pony. I somewhat encourage this love because of the nostalgic connection I have with them, but this plush one is a bit odd. Still, she tells me "it is so beautiful!", so...
There are two Circo play tents at Target that are only available in the store that I would love to get for Fiona and Bella. There is a tree one and a monster one, both $30.
She has asked for a My Little Pony house. Nothing too big!
She also wants slippers. Size 9. Again, preferably no licenced characters.
She also needs some winter(ish) Sunday clothes.

Loving these for Bella!! Okay, so these are mostly for me. I love Pumas and Bella doesn't have any bonafide sneakers, so I thought-she might as well be cool! (Size 9, but the closest they have is 10.5 so we'd go for that. They'll last longer.)

LOVE these for Bella- So maybe not quite as practical as the ones that are mostly white, but SO cute. (Size 10.)
And then these:


Me:

Sweet new Pumas- Like I said, I love Pumas. I only have one old pair right now so I need a new winter sneaker. Loving these in a size 8.
New Pumas- As well as these. I love love love this original 80's ('GV' or 'California') style and just wish I could find it in more colors.
Bend the Rules Sewing- Amy Karol
The Creative Family- Amanda Blake Soule
Handmade Home- Amanda Blake Soule
Stitched in Time-Alicia Paulson
Sewing Shears
Fabric
Any sewing notions
I wish i could say clothes but I'm in no condition to be getting new clothes at the moment...Maybe for my birthday. That gives me about 7 months.
Timm:
Money for new, nice shoes.
Kreg Jig K3 Master Set
I also have reason to believe he would appreciate iTunes gift cards as well as the usual favorites, i.e. Target, Amazon, Borders and the like.
Cool clothes, socks and ties.
He has also noted that he's afraid to give my mom ideas because she always does cool stuff.
So-there you have it. Any questions?

In December I am Going To...

1. Use the Advent calendar that Shell made us last year, including frequent experiences.
2. Listen to Christmas music everyday.
3. Sing in Sacrament meeting.
4. Sing in our ward Christmas party.
5. Host a cookie exchange.
6. Go caroling.
7. Watch Christmas movies.
8. Use a paper chain.
9. Make many many gifts.
10. Send Christmas cards.
11. Drive around to look at lights.
12. Go to Bella's school Christmas program.
13. Make Christmas crafts with Bella.
14. Go to Linda's Christmas party.
15. Make a gingerbread house.
16. Go to my parent's house for Christmas.
17. Make the most of every day to share the magic and meaning of this holiday with my kids.

1. I'm thankful for M&Ms and popcorn. Best snack ever, and I don't usually even care about the salty/sweet combo. Skip the salt and go straight for the sugar. But not this time.
2. I'm thankful that Fiona did not cry when I put her down for her nap and only cried for a minute at bedtime. This.is.HUGE. People. Not a first, but a first in many months. Fingers crossed.
3. I'm thankful for a fun day at Molly's house with the kids. We took a walk, perused the local pet store and Trader Joe's. The kids pined at The Ultimate Pet Mart and Molly and I pined at Trader Joe's. Then it was back to Molly's for play, good conversation, a few confessions, and a great lunch. A good, good day.

1.Thankful that I went to Bella's book fair at preschool today. I love those things! I lived for those in elementary school- I remember taking home the little newsletter/catalog of books they give you and poring over it, circling all the selections I wanted. LOVE it! I went in with the notion that I would buy one, maybe two of the reasonably priced paperbacks for Christmas. $41 later, including one for Fiona, 3 for Bella, and one from her teacher's wish list, I left. (Luckily Timm got paid last night.) Even though it was for Christmas I felt a little bit crazy spending that much on something that was not food, gas or utilities. Enter...
2. Thankful that when I got home from the book fair I got yesterday's mail and there was a $45 check in there from my dad with a note that read: 'hope this helps a little...'. It sure did, dad- thanks!
3. Thankful that today Fiona started saying 'uh-oh!'. We were shopping and were it not for her pointing and continual cries of 'Uh-Oh!' I would not have noticed that we had dropped our last remaining binkie. That would have been big trouble for me later. I went back an aisle or two and found it. Way to go Fi! Pure cute.

Edited to add: Also, thankful for Part 2 of the Project Runway finale on tonight! And sad too.

1. Thankful that it's 'cold' enough for me to wear socks today and close the windows.
2. Thankful for a 'Sugared Spruce' candle that helps to make for a merry and festive environment.
3. Thankful that Bella has swim lessons for the first time in many weeks due to my previous car-lessness.

1. Thankful that I got the girls and I home with enough gas. We only had about $10 in the bank until Timm got paid but I was pretty sure I was running on fumes. After praying to deliver me home safely and quickly I was prompted not to be an idiot and get a tiny bit of gas to ensure I got home instead of praying for a miracle of the gas that lasted for 8 days, er miles...I got a whopping $5 worth, and I when I started the car it was still on 'E', the gas light on, and it told me I had 0 miles left to go on the tank. So, I guess it was really empty. Also at the time, Fiona had been screaming in the car for 30 minutes and I was loathe to make any stops, prolonging the agony, but then I imagined what it would be like if we actually broke down with her. That scared me straight.
2.Thankful for a new pumpkin pasta sauce I made last night. Super fast and easy, pretty cheap, and Bella said it tasted amazing. Timm won't eat it (the pumpkin, you know...) but you can't please everyone.
3. Thankful for Fiona's emerging vocabulary, even when it's only 'mama'. Especially when it's 'mama'.

1. Thankful for the FHE materials that Nana has been sending us each week. We've been having consistent Family Home Evening for the first time...ever!
2. Thankful for books. I'm always reading at least one book with several in the wings. Right now I am reading one, have 2 waiting next to my bed, 4 requested from the library, and another 5 craft books from the library in my living room. I love, love, love reading. I daresay it is my favorite thing to do.
3. Thankful for Fiona's age and stage. At 14 months she is pretty much 100% cute. Anything not cute can be dismissed because of her age and innocence and thus, is still a little bit cute. Except the screaming/shrieking- that is never cute.

1. I am thankful for so very many people who love me when I do not feel worthy of their love. Thankful that they accept me as a person-in-training fumbling along through life, taking each day at a time.
2. Thankful for a high of 77 degrees.
3. Thankful for Christmas music, already, setting the scene.

'Thankful for Hannah On Her Birthday' Edition

1. I'm thankful to have Hannah for a best friend. We met about 5 1/2 years ago during the hardest time of my life. Initially, I didn't like her-luckily I got to know her!
2. Thankful for 'free' long distance so I can call Hannah on her birthday!
3. Thankful that Hannah is such an amazing woman. We are so different- on paper I wouldn't think we'd mesh, sync up- but fundamentally we must share something, or else we each give the other what we lack in ourselves. She's the other side of my coin. :)

1. Thankful that on a walk through my neighborhood I run into people I know. We sit on the sidewalk, me with my two and a pair of grandparents with two of their grand kids. We talk about nothing much and the most important of all as dusk descends, casting a rosy glow to all our faces.
2. Thankful for my latest doll, a pirate for one of Bella's friend's birthday party was a success. By far the best in execution so far.
3. Thankful for Bella's goodnight prayers of gratitude that list a myriad of things, including 'the rain that tumbles down from the sky, Hungry Hungry Hippos, cupcakes and neighbors'...

1. I'm thankful that I was able to bake bread yesterday and give a loaf to our next-door neighbor Dan, who is a veteran and all-around great neighbor. We are blessed to live next to his family.
2. I got to go to Bella's school today and read a story to her class. It was fun to see them together and their interactions. Bella was so excited to show off her baby sister and I was glad to see that she was happy I was there. I wonder how long it will be before she is embarrassed by me...
3. Timm is such a hard worker. He leaves before 6 every morning, but even after he came home from work tonight at 8 pm, he immediately picked up each of our little girls in turn and gave them his attention. Then he went on to make 2 different dinners because I have a few projects going on that I have to work on at night- he is working for about the next 3 days straight which will be hard on us both. He made these dinners so we would have something to eat tonight, (the girls had scrambled eggs-) he would have a lunch to take to work tomorrow, and the girls and I would have something ready made when he is essentially absent through Sunday. What a guy.
:)

1. It's still raining. Two days straight. I love sleeping to the rain. I love falling asleep to the rain, I love waking up to a gray rainy day when I have no where to go and nothing to do. It suits my homebody ways perfectly.
2. I love that the creek in our backyard is at capacity, flowing quickly and visible from our window.
3. I'm thankful that Timm has the day off for Veteran's Day, even if we have no plans. Because we have no plans. He gets to sleep in, but beyond that my wish for the day goes a little something like this: He wakes up and I get to retreat to the bedroom to read and then fall asleep (to the rain). Then he takes the girls to McD's and the library for an hour or two while I clean the house without interruption. They come home, the girls have quiet/naptime while Timm works in the shop and I finish some birthday sewing projects. Then once the girls are both up I do some needed baking and food prep, then make dinner. When the girls are in bed Timm and I are going to paint a couple of our doors and install new hardware. You know, or something.

1. Today I bought $223.35 worth of groceries for $86.45, saving $136.9. I bought more than I usually do because we had no food, Harris Teeter was doing triples, and there are a lot of great coupons out due to the holiday season!
2. I'm thankful that it rained all day. Not because I love the rain, which I do, but because I had a car to take Bella to preschool in. I didn't have to walk! How did it manage not to rain for the 3 weeks that I walked her to school? Fortuitous! Unfortunately I had to go to 4 different grocery stores and the library with Fiona so I was in and out of the rain all day, soaking me and our shoes to the core. I didn't bother bringing an umbrella because in most cases I am holding Fiona with one arm, carrying my purse/diaper bag on one arm, holding my massive coupon binder and possibly holding Bella's hand. Just where am I supposed to put an umbrella, I ask you? I'm pretty sure I got called out by some lady in the library parking lot. We were running by her to get to the shelter of the van and she was walking in with her kids and apparently they thought they were all fancy-like because they had not one, but two umbrellas. The part that I heard was "Look you out in the dern rain! You ain't no kinda..." I filled in the blank with "mother." I have no idea if she was even talking to me as it was dark, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I am an unfit parent. However, this is a gratitude item, so even though I was in and out of the rain all day, had cranky go-with-guys, and drove around in a van with no working heat or driver's side window- it might as well have been a chariot. Owing to Timm and I switching cars and the repair I haven't driven my van in 2 months. It felt good. Right.
3. I love that Fiona loves books now! I was worried when she was smaller because she had no interest and wanted to get to the good stuff- nursing- but now she is loving them and I feel a bit relieved and very gratified!

1. Thankful that the power was out for a several-mile radius tonight so we could have the adventure of going on a family date to Chili's.
2. Thankful that I enjoyed Bella's company on a bike ride and walk.
3. Thankful for the beautiful fall foliage and a winding path through the woods, just down the street from our house.

1. I am thankful for freshly-ground wheat flour from wheat Nana gave us, ground by my friend Karilee's wheat grinder.
2. I am thankful for quiet evenings with the girls in bed, Timm and I watching movies by lamp light in our cozy warm house.
3. I am thankful that I had a good (great) hair today restoring my faith in my hair. It was a little iffy for a while there.

Getting Right To It...

1. Playing games with the Smiths tonight. We played Poker and I won the first 2 hands! The kids all played marvelously and actually left us to play our game.
2. Sam's cinnamon-sugar yeast doughnuts. I had 2, and if my weigh in goes unfavorably tomorrow morning I blame him completely.
3. My relative sewing success lately. I have made 2 more dolls since the one I posted, each getting better than the last. I am working on one for Bella's friend Naomi's birthday party on Saturday and I am coming close to 'perfecting' my pattern.

I Am Grateful That...

1. I finally got my car back today after 22 days, thanks to Molly's taxi service. It came to $968.
2. Somehow Timm and I have enough money in our account to pay for the aforementioned repair, even if it leaves nothing else for frivolities such as food and the like.
3. Bella showed some grit by going bike riding with Sebastian on the greenway while Molly and I strolled the little girls. She rode all the way down to the greenway, quite a while down the trail, back again, and then home. You just never know.

These Are the Times

...that I feel like a bad mother.
Fiona is supposed to be taking a nap but instead is crying tears of betrayal and anger in her crib.
Bella is having a tantrum in her room because I told her 'no' about something and I told her she needed to go into her room until she was ready to be happy again. Not in trouble, just needed to work it out and get a hold of herself. She walks away, sobbing, looking back at me and wailing as I count my threatening '1, 2...' I don't really care about whatever I said no to, I just want to change my mind and give in but that doesn't really do anyone any good in the long run.
And Fiona? She's 14 months old and she still cries every time I put her down, whether it be nap or bedtime. She still wakes up in the night, albeit for only a few moments that I largely ignore, but what is the deal? Why does she still cry every single time? We have nice bedtime routines- Doesn't she get it by now? Doesn't she see it coming? One time I was complaining to Timm about her sleeping habits. I said "I don't get it- I did everything with her the exact same way I did with Bella!" (who was a very good sleeper-) He replied "It's like they're two totally different people or something."
Hmph.

I Must Admit...

Even though i am consciously noting things for which i am grateful, tonight I must admit to feeling a bit lonely for those far from me. I miss Hannah and having an easy relateable friend close by- both on the deepest levels but also the ease of just being, co-existing. I hate that I don't know enough about her daily life and the people in it. I hate that I can't call Michelle whenever I get the urge while she is in Paris. I usually call her on a near-daily basis for things mundane, benign, frivolous, funny, and desperate. I miss the proximity of so many people I love. Who support me and take me 'as is'.
So take that, gratitude! A healthy dose of whining from one of its principle followers.

1. I can't help it- I love reality shows. I really think it's because I find people so fascinating and I love studying their motives, their relationships, their talents and their actions. Thus, I am thankful for a lot of good tv- So You Think You Can Dance, Survivor, Project Runway, just to name my current reality favorites.
2. I am thankful for blogging which enables me to see Shell's daily life and the activities of her family while they are in Paris. Or while she lives in Utah for that matter. I really need to start commenting again.
3. I'm thankful that Hannah finally got a cell phone (I should talk-) so she can call me and we can talk and pretend we don't live over 2,000 miles apart.

1. I'm thankful for my little family- or the Tanner 4 as I refer to us in my labels. Even though I sometimes struggle with (s)motherhood, I love my little girls with a ferocity that is matched only by my love for their daddy. It would not be possible for me to have a more loving and supportive husband than I do. They are the reason I get up every day and commit to try again, fumbling as I may be.
2. I'm thankful for all the walking I've clocked walking Bella to and from school while I've been without a car. Still- without a car.
3. I'm thankful for the fall. I love the crisp weather which is just now reaching us in North Carolina. I love being able to use blankets when I sleep, occasionally turn the heat on, but also open the windows. It's been getting into the 40's at night, but still hits the 70's during the day.

1. I am thankful that I am supposedly getting my car back tomorrow after 20 days without a car. We still have the van to repair before they are both in full working order however...
2. I am thankful that Fiona is a cuddly, sweet, affectionate girl. I love her little snuggles, her head on my chest, receptive to squeezy hugs and always giving kisses (with tongue) on demand.
3. I love Coke Zero. Zero calories, 100% flavor. A (nearly) guilt-free diet treat. Unless, of course, you ask a girl named Moriah who I worked with at PetCo before I was married. She said it wasn't 'working for me- At all.'

1. I am thankful that Timm has started the first diet of his life! Now don't get me wrong- I don't care one way or the other if he loses weight or not. I have never had issue with his weight in the 7 years we've known each other- and really, what leg would I have to stand on if I did? Me- with my dramatic weight fluctuations in our 6 years of marriage and inclusive 3 pregnancies? Ha.No, I am thrilled because for the first time in my married life I have a live-in diet pogner! ('partner'.) Timm has always been emotionally supportive, but now, now- he understands! He commiserates! He's on board! We talk about it! We weigh in together! Of course now there will be the frustrating discrepancy in our respective male vs. female rate of weight loss...
2. I am thankful that I got the house perfunctorily cleaned this morning before Molly and co. came over because the rest of the day was a waste, productivity-wise. Socially, good to have Molly over. It's been a while.
3. I am thankful that the Daily Show is mocking New York and Philly fans, both Giants vs. Eagles and Yankees vs. Phillies. They really are the worst. I can speak from experience, having grown up in a Philly suburb. Trashy, vulgar, bad sports, and violent- but devoted! Funny stuff tonight.

Attitude Of Gratitude

(Inspired by Hannah, who was inspired by Chloe- 3 unique 'things' every day for the month of November. I think it will be hard not to repeat since I am thankful for so many things but often come back to many of the same.)

1. I am thankful for our cozy little house. It's small, it needs some repairs and replacements, but it feels about perfect for us right now.

2. I am thankful for the creative minds of so many people in this world in so many varying capacities. I love that people have different passions and visions and can materialize them for the rest of the world. Tonight I am watching the cult-classic black and white 'Night of the Living Dead.' (Creepy! Especially for 1968!)

3. I am thankful for our neighborhood. We have good neighbors who look out for us and do favors without being asked and are kind to our children. People wave and say hello on the streets. They hold social get-togethers and neighborhood activities. It feels like a real community. If we ever move within Charlotte I would want to stay in our neighborhood.