P.S.

I linked Erin's blog wrong. She's incognito, but not that incognito! So if you haven't checked it out, you can do so now! Sorry Bizzer :)

Like mother or father?

So this morning I tried Pilates. Timm gave me a DVD for Valentine's Day after I had expressed some interest in it. It was somewhat better than yesterday, although I don't feel like I actually did anything. Again, I only did it for maybe 25 minutes because Bella was still awake in her crib and getting sick of it. All I really felt like I did was stretch, but I liked the easy pace of it and the fact that I didn't have to wear shoes. I did not like the fact that I had to lay on my sick nasty carpet. (Supposedly our landlord is going to replace it soon. It's Berber and looks like an entirely different color than it really is because of deeply embedded dirt. Gross.)I just have to try and think positively- at least I'm making an effort, no matter how small. Day one of my sugar chastity went well. No problems. My sweet snacks were some sugar-free Cream Savers and my old stand-by, Jello.

i want to take a poll- who do you think Bella looks more like? Most people tell me Timm, but I never know. So here is a picture of Timm and Bella at Thanksgiving (thank goodness Timm has shed the 'stache which was mainly grown just to irk his family. That's the kind of mature guy Timm can be)and a more recent one of she and I. Weigh in with your opinions please :) Hopefully I will post something of more import later, but probably not. (Maybe I'll post again, it's just not likely to be important)

Messy Breakup

Today's the day. I am quitting sugar. I am droppin' it like it's hot. (I hate that expression, but it just sticks in your head)We're through sugar! You and me-we're OVER. I know, I know, we've had this torrid affair for so long- But my lust for you has it's consequences, and I'm choosing a sugar-chaste life. it doesn't seem right, and no, I don't know how we'll get along without eachother. I'm sure it'll be a long and rocky road, but I'm doing this for myself. I'm leaving you. Don't expect me to come crying back for more, because I'm ripping you off like a Band-Aid- "one quick motion!"
That's what I'll keep telling myself anyway... It's come to this. It really has. I know it seems rash and drastic and well, painful. But remember how I used to say I had 6.5 lbs left to lose? Yeah, now it's 14, so you can see desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm going cold-turkey. My snacks will include sugar-free Jello with the Fat Free Cool Whip and sugar free hard candies. I'll keep you posted about my progress and struggles. Maybe even several times a day. I don't suppose I can enlist any camaraderie in this detox can I? (Remember, as grandma says, 'You can do anything on the buddy system!')
Also I decided to start exercising. (yikes!) I set my alarm for 6 am, but Bella was already up at 5:30 to eat. I fed her and then went downstairs to start one of The Firm DVDS that Rachelle lent me. I started out with just a 30 minute Cardio one since I am so out of shape. It was a total bust. I was not made for aerobics. I am so uncoordinated! This is no real surprise, seeing as how my whole family is so athletically uninclined, but really, I was bad. How am I supposed to know what a 'double cross back' or a 'step A' is? Maybe it's intuitive if you speak 'aerobic', which I clearly do not. They never explain what those things mean, they just launch into them. I felt like such a loser, and since I couldn't replicate what they were doing I just tried to keep moving. The instructor would keep saying really lame words of encouragement like, "that was fun!" (seriously-it was not.) And to top it all off, I only did my pseudo-exercise for about 15-20 minutes because Bella never went back to sleep and she was screaming. Oh the joys of fitness.

a call to BLOG!!

This is a call to Blog!! That means: I think everyone should blog. Consider me a blogspot missionary. SInce Jill started her blog, I can think of at least 4 or 5 others who have started theirs (myself included) and I know there are more. The blessings of blogging are many. I want everyone I know to start their own blog so that I can note the everyday minutiae of their life. I am addicted. Just know, for any of you who are wondering, I will read your blog if you start one. If it's any good I may even include a link on my own. (Just kidding, I'm sure they'd all be good)And really, why not? It's easy and it's free. I am living proof, because I am not techno-savvy, and I am really poor too. So really, why not?
Also, my call to blog includes all you people out there who think you can just be silent voyeurs and watch but never speak up. That's all gonna change, because everyone who is reading thsi right now and has never, or even rarely comments-TALK! (To quote one of Michelle's childhood chums) Why are you so quiet? We all want to hear what you have to say. Even if you don't think we do, you're wrong. All you have to do is say, Hey, I like clementines, and that's good enough. So what do you have to say for yourselves?
p.s. I only included this picture to give you some eye-candy (It's one-day-old Bella.. she actually looks chubby!)

Sunday Musings

So Jill's blog has had me thinking- (which is often the case, which is why her's is the catalyst mother blog). I was thinking about her post about our insecurities keeping us from fully partici[pating in our lives. (At least that was my take on it)I think about this often in fact, because I allow that to happen so much in my own life. This morning was a prime example. Yesterday I made the solid commitment to attend all 3 meetings every Sunday. I know it sounds like small beans, but I can't even remember the last time I went to Relief Society. With Bella's schedule, we usually only attend Sacrament. (I use the term 'schedule' very loosely.)I decided that I was just going to make it happen. So I'm getting ready for church and trying to get dressed at the last minute. Everything else is done. I had an outfit all picked out, but everything I try on makes me look disgusting! I am getting so frustrated... I have been having diet issues lately and have seen the horror of my weight slowly creeping back up in the last couple of weeks-NOT acceptable! I'm sure most of you have experienced this problem- trying on outfit after outfit with no success. I'm feeling discouraged to the point where I just want to crawl back into bed and forget all about church. SO then I think- 'Damn that Satan!' I apologize to any of you that are not LDS because now I sound insane. But I know he's just trying to thwart my efforts. he is trying to make me stay on the sidelines like I do so frequently in my life because I am uncomfortable or insecure about the way I look or whatever dumb insecurity I have. Not that this is terribly comforting, but like anyone at church really cares what I look like. So I just settle on something and try to buck up. I stay through all my meetings, and Bella is pretty darn good about it. (We just have to spend some time in the halls letting her crawl and explore) I feel like so often I am waiting for my real life to begin... (Haven't listened to the cd yet, I think I may have left it at Shell's) I really want to be able to shed those insecurities and just fully participate in my own life. I know I am missing out on so much when I sideline myself. Along with those insecurities, I like most people, allow myself to be consumed with comparisons with others. I know that is just what Satan loves, because we will never fully measure up. I don't know how to get over that except to try and concentrate on the Savior. So much easier said than done. I try to remember grandma's words of wisdom and think, "It only has to be okay with me and the Savior". I know that if I can only manage to live a Christ-centered life then all the rest will fall into place. The only thing is, that's a pretty overwhelming concept sometimes. I really have a lot to learn in this life. And I can't help but think, I really hate that damn Satan.

that FACE

Taking a cue from Michelle... I was already feeling a little cheered up by my little Bella Bean and thought about posting it... then I read Shell's post today and I knew I had to. For obvious reasons, Michelle's post struck a chord with me, and made me do something I rarely seem to do these days-cry a bit. I too am so lucky to have my little girl. Anyone who has spent time around her has probably noticed, she is such a sweet girl! I don't know where she got her sweet and easy-going personality, but she is just great! As Michelle noticed yesterday when we were over, Bella just kind of anticipates being happy. I was crawling around after Bella and playing with her. I called her name, and before she even turned around to see me on the floor with her, she started smiling in anticipation. She has this great wide open, mouth-agape smile that just makes you smile along with her. She is such a sweet and good girl and I have a lot to be thankful for and learn from my two little girls. One is the example of perfection and gives me something (someone)to work towards in the world to come, and one is a happy, shining example of why I am still here for now.

Rainy Day

This is how I feel today-depressed. I don't really know why-not one specific reason anyway. As most of you already know, I struggle with depression. I just have to work a little harder than most people to try and be happy, and some days are worse than others. The only reason I'm blogging this is that I have nothing else to say. I just fell blah... if I didn't have Bella, I'd probably curl up and watch Lifetime movies while snacking all day. Maybe read and drift off to sleep. But alas, I will just have put with Bella instead and try and be creative. This is super lame, but I feel part of blogging is just being honest and available, and that's me. BTW, I am sort of regretting urging Timm to keep up on my blog because he used something I wrote against me today... Maybe that's not the best way to put it. He 'reminded' me of something today. It's not his fault, it's mine, but I was still thinking, 'hmm.. if only I didn't blog everything.'
Forgive me for this lame and melancholy blog, but it's part of the jt territory and friendship you have subscribed to- now's your chance to get out if you didn't already know, I struggle with depression!

Out of Order

I just wanted to leave a bit of an explanation... My phone is out of order. I didn't want some of you to be wondering why i haven't called you or perhaps returned your call. When I got back from Denver I noticed that we had no dial tone on the phone. I immediately called the phone company and they came out the next morning, only to tell me that my battery was dead. Yep, I'm a moron. Now, to my credit it wasn't just like I hadn't hung the phone up to charge, the battery inside was dead. So I looked at a couple of different places and can't find the right one anywhere. I think we're just going to buy another cheap phone. I felt like an idiot when the phone technician told me it was just a dead battery. Woops. So anyway, I still haven't bought a new phone. If you really need to reach me you can call my cell. Sorry if any of you have felt neglected. Bella's screaming and won't go to sleep. I'll try and blog off later. I have a birthday project to work on. (I'll leave you all guessing since there are 3 imminent birthdays of my blog-subscribers coming up!)

I need the good stuff!!!!

Okay, I know at least some of you are going to think I'm crazy, but- Have any of you ever read this book or otherwise know anything about it or have an opinion? I ask because I have a SERIOUS sugar addiction. I think about it a lot, and I know it has a LOT to do with my weight struggle. I have no capacity to limit my sugar intake once I start in on it. I generally have an addicitive personality in most regards, but this is luckily the main one I struggle with. I was thinking of it while I was watching Oprah today. Anyone see it? Likely none of you with young kids around would have- it was about sex addiction-yikes! Anyway, O was talking about how she thinks it's just like any other addiction. She said she has a food addiction, she could imagine having a shopping addiction, but could not imagine having a sexual addiction. The reason? She could not imagine having to deal with so many strange penises, she said laughing, but serious. Double yikes! Kind of puts it in perspective and makes me glad it's just sugar I'm struggling with. Anyway, I think it's a problem for me and I think for me the best thing may be to cut it out completely. I know, a scary prospect, but I want your opinions. I need to order my next book club book from Amazon, and I think I may order Sugar Busters at the same time. What do you guys think, and do any of you have a serious sugar addiction like I do?

Charlotte Jane Petersen

(with Isabella Grace)
I'm just wondering- how many of who have a grandma who is cuter than you? How many of your grandmas have a cuter figure, or wardrobe than you? Cause mine does. It's bittersweet, really. Mostly sweet though. I love my grandma so much. She has been a huge influence my whole life. She is the epitome of unconditional love and has guided me through so much in my life. It's hard to imagine that I could have a clsoer bond or affection with her if she were my own mother. And she's pretty cute too, huh?
*Denise, you have to be Grandma's 'seeing eye daughter' and tell her about this cute photo that is up! BTW, that thrift store tablecloth fits my table perfectly!

More look-A-Likes

Okay, this is great... My husband is way sexier than I thought. (just kidding honey.. I knew you were sexy:) His look-alikes included Michael Vartan, Mathew McCaunahey (sp?), and Mathew Fox. Oh, but let's not forget- Burt Reynolds and Strom Thurmon. Oh yeah.... and the beautiful product of our combined sexiness? Our baby apparently looks like the Notorious B.I.G. Tha's right, a giant fat black gangsta. I have found that doing Bella is the funniest. We come up with all kinds of stuff. Almost all men, including James Joyce. Sweet. We are an attractive family to be sure.

Myself in Photos

Okay, so Michelle totally got me hooked. Go to Myheritage.com and upload a photo of yourself it will give you a profile of what celebrities you look like. It uses facial scanning software. Totally addicting! I used 3 different photos to see what different results I got. I got various results, but all three times I got one of these Indian supermodel women, so apparently, I really look like this girl. And then I did Bella, curious to see if they would do a baby, and it worked. The funny thing, she also had the same Indian supermodel! Michelle and I also had 3 of the same results- Catherine Zeta Jones, Alyssa Milano, and Kristin Kreuk. I think that's rather intersting. So here are my results. (at least the results that I liked the best.) The first profile I did listed my number one as Gloria Estefan. What?! Including her, I had like 4 or 5 different nationalities that I looked like. Okaayy... For some reason I couldn't get any more photos to load. I will try to get them up later, but here are my results.

Priyanka Chopra 75% Yeah, that's right- Miss World 2000

Rachael Leigh Cook 74%

Alyssa Milano 74% Miss Teen Steam herself

Eva Longoria 73% I always knew it.

Gwen Stefani 73% She's rockin'.

Aishwariya Rai 73% Yeah, that's right- another Miss World
Madonna 73% Wow- Just like looking in a mirror, isn't it? (use your imagination for lack of a photo for the time being)
Catherine Zeta Jones 73% Not bad, not bad...
Sade Adu 73% Umm... Okay... I like her music anyway...
Uma Thurman 72% Right on!
So it turns out, I'm a lot hotter than I thought. Yay for bogus software!
Here are some of Bella's lookalikes:Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Pfeiffer, Denise Richards, Norah Jones, Jennifer Love hewitt, Aishwariya Rai. Not a bad future of miss Bella Bean! Give it a try.. Barring Jill's results, I think it will be a fun experiment for you!

Only a grandma

Almost 2 years ago grandma and grandpa downsized from their home of 35 years to a smaller one level house. When they moved they enlisted the help of all of their children and filled 2 1/2 dumpsters of trash! (Grandpa is quite a hoarder) In fact, grandma found a painting still wrapped in paper that she had never unwrapped when they first moved into their house in Denver! It was quite a project to move the belongings that had accumulated after raising their family in that home. True to form, grandma was quite objective in discarding many things that were not worth moving. (I would be too! I downsize our belongings every time we move, which is frequent, just so that I don't have to move them again)With evey item she asked herself whether it was worth moving.

Then I found this little gem in her 'ironing room'. I made this for her in art class when I must have been about 7 years old. (Which is obvious from the fine craftsmanship)I can't believe she kept it! She said it was one of the things that she wanted to move with and keep. I am still baffled. Only a grandma... only my grandma :)

Life Diet

Aughh... I feel bloated in many ways. I gained 5 pounds. Yep, five. But dieting at grandma's is an exercise in futility. When I got there she had already made lemon bars and a cherry pie for Timm. (not with cherry pie filling, mind you, but fresh cherries). Then the next day she made my favorite cake of all time, White Mountain Cake. (I have had it for 22 of my 24 birthday cakes)The next day she made Chocolate AND coconut Cream Pies, not to mention the every day good food that we had for every meal. mmmm.... It was worth it. I loved every bite. However, now I have 12.5 pounds to lose to get to my goal weight. I hate having to lose it all over again, but I can do it. So I feel bloated physically.

I also feel bloated financially, if that is possible. I used to be SO good at not spending money. It was easy, because there was never any there to spend. If I tried we would just bounce something, so I quickly became accustomed to not spending money, however tempting it may be. However, now we have a little cushion of money that we still cannot spend (it is what we have to live on for the next couple of months) but it gives the false illusion of having money to spend. This is dangerous. So I have not been as disciplined as I have in times past. This is not to say that I have just gone buck wild, but I still need to exhibit some more self restraint. (As far as food and money both go) Mom gave me $20 for Valentine's Day so I used that and then some at Target to score some of the Heidi Swapp finds. This picture is what I ended up getting... But I have made a goal. I am only going to scrap with the supplies I have on hand. (At first I said I would do this until my birthday which is in mid-June. Then I came to my senses)I am going to start with a month, and see how I can extend it. The only exceptions are photo developing, and the occasional small stipend for paper. (Once your out of paper, you're kind of stuck.) So I'm going on a scrap diet. No buying supplies, no matter what great and latest thing comes out. It will still be there later when we might have more money to spend on that kind of thing. I am also going to exercise great caution with grocery shopping like I used to. I stocked up on chicken a couple of weeks ago when it was on sale, so I am only making chicken recipes next go-around. (sorry Timm). I am going to raid my pantry to see what I have on hand to cook with so I can minimize the ingredients I need to buy. Basically I am tightening the screws, pulling in the reigns with the food and money in my life. I am already a spaz about turning off lights etc, and we never go out to eat or go on dates. (unfortunately)So I need to know
**What do you do to save money???**
(We seriously need the help, so answer dangit!)

Score!

I'm back... We got in last night at about 10:30 and had another uneventful and pleasant drive home. I want to post about my trip, but Timm took the camera that has the pictures on it! (If you're reading this Timm, call me! I need the camera!) So when I get it back, I have a couple of pictures to post and discuss. It feels good to be home, but I always miss the Denver clan. Going to visit Grandma is always my favorite trip, bar none. But I'll save that for another time...

We went to their local thrift store to make some costuming purchases for Denise. It happened to be 50% off day so I thought I'd take a look at their baby clothes. Boy, did I score. You would never find these kind of things at DI, especially in Provo being as picked-over as it is. Everything I bought is from either BabyGap, Old Navy, Target, or Children's Place. This whole lot was only about $26! ($26 I didn't have, but I couldn't pass it up!) As you may notice I bought a bunch of boys clothes as well, since my next one's going to be a boy. (No, I'm not pregnant, I just know. Trust me- mark my words, my next baby will be a boy. I've been right twice in a row) Those sweater vests were each $1!! 2 from CP, and one from Gap. All in all, I got 17 articles of clothing- That averages out to about $1.58 a piece of great condition, cute name-brand clothes.Unbelievable. I am so psyched. Now I get to wash them all and put them away. So enjoyable.

I'm sorry I have been lax... Grandpa's internet is dial-up (like mine) and it took me an hour to make a post last time. I felt bad monopolizing vacation time on the computer. But here I am using Uncle Mark's high-speed and it is a jiff! Things are going great!! I am astounded at how good bella is doing. She has fallen asleep without a peep every time we have laid her down at night or for naps. SILENTLY! I don't know why I am so surprised, but I am. And she has slept through the night, and two of the three mornings she has slept until 9 am!!! After I fed her at like 6 she went back to sleep. Wow. We have her sleeping in the utility room with the hot water heater. It's pitch black and is working like a charm.
I went back to Target yesterday and was a personal shopper to Jill and Shell for Heidi Swapp supplies. (much to Timm's chagrin...)i am excited to dole them out.

Dinner is ready...got to blog-off!

Scouting out the Locals (Target, that is...)

Ahh... here I am in Denver. The roads were great- no issues whatsoever. Bella was also great. She slept most of the way and was a good traveler. Once we got into town we put her down for the night, and she went to bed without a peep! She slept in the utility room in a foreign port-a-crib, and she still went to bed without a sound, and then slept until 9am! Whoa. So now that we're here, what is the first order of business? Check out the local Target of course. And boy, it was a good thing we did. Get this- they have Heidi Swapp! Okay, that's the first surprising thing. THe next? They're things I've never even seen before! And on top of that? They were all on clearance! Whoa. I, of course, have no money, but I had to get at least some of them. And Michelle has asked me to go back and get more. Alas, what's a girl to do? So here is a picture of my Swapp Target finds, as well as a deck of the Marcella cards in chocolate and pink for Shell.


Shell, Grandma got us all these Lil' Davis things at Tuesday Morning. I don't know about all you guys, but I've never seen scrap supplies at Tuesday Morning. Maybe I just don't go enough... There are mini file folders, slash pockets, envelopes etc. So cute! We'll divvy them up when I get home.
Grandma's new house is very cute. It feels like home, and I think it's perfect for them. My only complaint is the white confetti type of carpet. Kind of like those cake mixes you can buy that have the multi-colored candy peices in them. (Except it's not quite that noticeable) I'll have to post pictures tomorrow. Yes, I will still try to post once a day while we're here. I wouldn't know what to do with myself otherwise.

so fast!

Sorry this is the lamest post ever- I'm on my way to Denver. WE were supposed to have left like 2 or 3 hours ago so I have to jet. I will Blogg Off while i am there, so no worries. (i'm sure you wouldn't know what to do with yourselves if I didn't!) Pray that we have good roads and weather! jt

SO much love!!

I have so many wonderful people in my life that bring so much love into it that I wanted to just say a little bit about some of you. I will sincerely try not to forget anyone, but please forgive me if I do. (I do have a LOT of people to love)I will try to keep it brief...This is my version of an awards acceptance speech to thank all those who have got me where I am today. In no particular order, except for my immediate family of 4: Timm-the most wonderful husband I could ever ask for, period. So Supportive and loving! Isablla and Lola, both of whom give me so much to love and live for, My parents who taught me what hard work and generosity are, my sister Michelle who has been a constant friend and example of motherhood and womanhood- her kids Max, Lucas, and Eva who taught me to love children before I had my own, my brother Ryan who has the cutest vegan son Miles with the cutest name, my grandma Charlotte Jane Petersen who is a shining example of righteousness and Christlike attributes, my grandpa Mervin Petersen who is a sweet and gentle man of God, my aunt Denise who is beautiful in every way and who has raised a family that is equally beautiful, Jill who is the quintessential example of true friendship to whoever she encounters, Erin who is my oldest best friend with whom I share so much history, Rachelle who endures hardship with strength and faithfulness, Bridget who makes having a 'cousin' as a friend so much fun, Robin who cracks me up and is a great friend to me and lover of my cats (hard to come by), Hannah who I have so enjoyed getting to know beyond work and becoming friends with, Diana who I admire as a mother and am glad to have befriended, Amanda who is hilarious and doesn't read my blog, my in-laws who are so supportive and loving and generous, all of my siblings-in-law who treat me like one of their own, Mona who is the best neighbor I have ever had and has indeed taught me what it is to be one, Ellen who has shown me such compassion and empathy and embodies strength, Sister Whittle who helped get me to the temple and is the sister of Ezra Taft Benson and is 98, Christina who was a great roommate and saw me through a lot of bad times and loved me anyway, Mike who gave me the perfect job when I needed it and let me keep it when I didn't deserve it , Heather Walker who gave me tangible things of Lola's to treasure, Lisa and Star and others from my support group who listened to me and loved Lola- All of you have seen me through the good and a lot of the bad and loved me or at least feigned it nonetheless. Thank you, and I hope to return the love in similar fashion.

Timm's Mini Book

Here is Timm's Valentine's Present- the reason in fact, that none of you got anything from me. I apologize-blame Timm. Have a great Valentine's Day!! I will ry and post alittle V-Day tribute later if I have time. Love you all! :)

Lay off!

Okay, I'm blogging off. I have nothing of note to say, but I suppose that if I enjoy reading the minutiae of everyone else's life, some of you may enjoy mine too. Though not likely. I'm considering the idea of joining a gym. Now that we're not moving to our new condo where we were going to have a workout facility it's just something I'm thinking about. I hate exercising, but am really trying to adopt a good lifestyle. Of course I have a few more pounds I'd like to lose, and firm up those problem areas that are many since having kids... but I am also really interested in developing good habits for my kids. I am a couch potato by nature. I am a homebody, I like tv, I like food...my natural inclinations are to be fat and lazy. The problem is, I don't want my kids to be that way. So I really want to develop good habits with my kids. I want them to learn to eat well and within reason, and to have fun being active. The problem is, I haven't quite learned to have fun being active. It's sad, but it's true. I'd much rather just watch a Lifetime movie while I scrapbook than go for a jog. (blech.) Plus, I don't really enjoy being fat. I'm one of those people that never enjoys exercise. It gets easier once I'm actually in shape, but it's still something I have to force myself to do because I know it's good for me. I never just enjoy it. Sigh. So anyway, I called around to a couple of gyms to get their rates. They are SO pushy! They never want to just tell you how much it is. They want you to come in and tour the facility and work out. Yeah, like that's what I want to do. I've worked out before, I know how it feels, and I don't like it. That's why I'm in this predicament in the first place. Just tell me how much it is going to cost me for the physical torture of exercising at your specific facility! It's not like they have some newfangeled machine that I've never seen before that they're just dying to show me! They just want to wrangle me in there so they can get a pen in my hand to sign a contract. I don't know what to do. I hate exercise. A necessary evil? I WISH I wish I wish I could find something that is actually enjoyable that would also provide the health benefits I'm after. Does anyone have any suggestions? I think it would;d be fun to join a tackle football league. I've always enjoyed tackling people, especially if I get to choose them.

{Bad Blogger}

Sorry... I know, I let almost 36 hours lapse without a post. It did feel strange, although I was not without opportunity. I was online several times today checking with the status of everyone else's blogs, but I didn't feel I had anything worthwhile to say. I don't know why that stopped me as I usually have nothing worthwhile to say. However, I am pleased to report that I have finished an accordion book for Timm for Valentine's Day. Now I will have to restrict him from reading this until tomorrow night. I used the pictures he took of Bella and I on Sunday and I am pretty pleased with how it turned out. I don't LOVE it, but I like it. Good enough. Sometimes you just have to keep telling yourself, not every creation has to be a masterpiece. The pictures are all pretty cute, thanks to Timm. I will post a picture tomorrow when my batteries are charged and my eyes aren't so tired. I hardly ever finish a project in a day- and I mean like a 1-page layout, let alone a mini-book. Hmm.. Must be those Ding Dongs. Well, to hell with the diet- if I must be fat to produce creativity, then so be it... That's just a sacrifice I'll have to make. Or perhaps I could somehow strike a balance.. I've never been very good at that though. I made Timm stay away tonight so I could work on it in privacy, so I haven't seen him since about 6:30 am. I think I will go to bed and wait for him there. The last time I did that he didn't come home until 3:30 am. He says he was working on school work until then. Rriiiggghhhttt... No, really he was.
BTW- I'm still confused as to what we decided 'blogg off' really means. I was still under the impression that it was an insult, but I can't really glean a precise meaning from context clues. Please explain Jill. Since we're co-authors of the word we need a mutual understanding.
I promise to blog again soon... I already have ideas formulating on topics.

Bella Trademarks

Bella has the tiniest bum in the world. She has an average size belly I think, but then it whittles down to a tiny little waist and bum. Hence, she can't keep her pants on a lot of the time. We love our little Bella Bean :)

This is Bella's classic eating face. She is just like a baby bird-you can't imagine such a tiny girl could open her mouth so wide or eat so much. She is very demanding once it's time to eat. It still cracks us up.

I realized that I hardly had any pictures of Bella and I together (no surprise) so I had Timm take a few today while she was still happy. Out of about 50 there are a few that I like- that's always the way. About 40 or so of them I look gross or Bella's in motion, but there are a few I'll be glad to have. I have a project in mind, so I'll post it if it comes to fruition. I love Sundays because it's the oly day that our whole little family is together. Although I can't say we're spending too mcuh time together today. Timm was at school until 3:30 am catching up, so now he's catching up on sleep. I haven't seen him much today. (He owes me a nap!) Our war had Ward Conference today and there were a few people in our ward who were there 60 years ago when our ward was organized. 60 years ago!! wow. The choir sang an arrangement of Lead, Kindly Light which I love. We sang it at Lola's funeral, so that's always what I think of. Hopefully later I will get some time to read and maybe take a nap if I feel so inclined. What are you doing today?

"If not for you"

Here is just a teaser of the mini book I just finished. I can only show the cover or I would ruin the surprise for the recipient. It was a fun, quick project. I finished it after working on it sporadically for 3 days. ta-da!

At last

Whew! It's been a busy couple of days, and I'm so glad I'm done. Here is another exciting picture of my freezer. I know it's lame, but I have to look at my accomplishments after a long day :) I finished cooking today, and in addition,(are you ready for this?) completely cleaned up the kitchen, including disinfecting every surface, and mopping and windexing my floor. (thanks Jill). Oh, I'm not done yet- I also ran a couple of errands (one fun- I went to Roberts), did 2 loads of laundry, vacuumed, and finished my mini book. Whew! Double Whew! And Bella only took two naps, one of which was a whopping 20 minutes. (?!) I am so glad this day is done and tomorrow after church I can lounge around and enjoy a clean house. Happiness is a clean kitchen. (and bathroom). I ended up making: Chicken Chile Casserole, Chicken Chili, Beefy Black Bean Chili, Shepherd's Pie, Beef Stew with Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Salsa Chicken, Chicken Cacciatore and Tamale Casserole. I never really pegged myself as a casserole kinda girl, but I did make a lot this time. I've never had 8 of the 9 recipes so I'm excited. Okay, I'm tired. I need to eat dinner.

Not done

Here is Bella beiong my kitchen helper with the whisk.Today is not going as productively as I would like. Normally I would be done all my cooking by now, but I have only made 5 of 9 recipes and I'm not too motivated to finish them. I'm debating whether I will finish it tonight after Bella's in bed and be done with it, or if I will lounge and scrap tonight and finish tomorrow. Oh, I'll be glad when it's all done and we have food for 2-3 weeks. Gotta keep the end in sight. Bella woke up from her last nap at 1:30 and never went back down. What's up with that? So now she's tired and ready to go to bed, but it's still about 45 minutes till bedtime. till nextime...

Idea Book

Motivated by Jill, I decided to post about my Idea Book. I love it! It is how I organize my ideas (obviously) and I have it divided into 6 sections. I started it almost a year ago, and I use it for clippings and sketches in my head. I just used a mead spiral notebook, but it's kind of a weird size. It's on the small side so it's unobtrusive and portable. I have it divided into 6 sections- Sketches, where I draw out my ideas, Type, where I collect all ideas of lettering etc. Techniques, Color, Pages (entire pages I like) and Projects, for special non-scrapbook projects. It has been so effective! I go through my monthly magazines a few times, dog-earing the pages I like. After I can bear to part with it (within the month it comes) I cut out all the ideas and put them in my book. It has pockets and I also write down fonts to download, websites to visit, page and album ideas, and keep a running shopping list in the book for supplies I "need". I love it because I can throw the rest of the magazine away, avoiding the clutter problem, and all of my ideas are compiled in one place where I reference them often. I also have a smaller, coordinating journal just for scrapping. I use it to write things down as they happen for future journaling, or to write title prompts I might have. All in all, I have found it to be VERY effective! I think compiling my own idea book has set me free!

"How big is Bella? Soooooooo small!"

Today I went and did my grocery shopping because tomorrow is marathon cooking day. I am making my usual, about 8 different meals, so it should hold us for close to the rest of the month. I conveniently forgot to confess my weigh-in from Monday- I gained 1.5 lbs. I wasn't surprised, it was a bad week. I'm trying to find the motivation to lose the last bit. Anyway, here's a picture of Bella all puny and tiny in the cart in the produce department. We attracted some humored glances as I took about 10 different shots in the grocery store.

"It's Alive!"

Ewww.... I can't even describe just how creepy this sight makes me feel. It makes my skin crawl. That's the only description I can think of. It's one of my idiosyncrasies-when vegetables start sprouting. It's just not right! They're DEAD!They are not supposed to keep growing! It's like they're taking on a life of their own-but they're supposed to be dead! Doesn't pulling them from the earth halt the growing process? It's like they have power and strength beyond my power to control, and it just freaks me out! I know it may seem unreasonable, but I really hate them. Really, really hate them. So much so, that this has been growing in my pantry for almost a week and I haven't thrown it out because I don't want to touch it. I keep waiting for Timm to do it, but I haven't seen him to ask him to do it for me. Ewww... (shiver)I can't believe I am posting this picture because that means I will have to look at it and shiver every time I log on. Eww...
* What are your indiosyncratic behaviors?*

"I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

No, your eyes do not deceive you- this is Jill's bib that she had displayed. Well, I guess it's my bib now. That's right. My bib. Now I know what you're all thinking. 'Why her? Why does she get the bib?' With so many vying onlookers. Well, clearly Jill likes me best, and there's nothing that can be said. What's done is done, Jill has made her choice, and I'm not giving it up. Like I said, clearly Jill likes me best, and there's no point in beating yourself up about it, so just get over it. That said, I was the unworthy recipient of a package from Jill today! I have done nothing to deserve such a treasure. I opened the box, and first saw the bib. At first I thought that was all that the box contained, and truth be told I was excited. (but who wouldn't be?)But lo, there was a bevy of goodies beneath, including pink Chip Chatter letters! Jill, I don't know how you manage to do it. And I don't know why you sent it to me since I never adequately thanked you for the package you sent me a few months ago. I will be scratching my head trying to think of a pay back. I am open to suggestions. Thank you thank you thank you Jill! I am most undeserving, but very grateful! Even if we're heading for destitution at least I have some cute scrap supplies. Oh, and some good friends. :)
p.s. Jill, when you told Shell to tell me to blog often, I thought she said, blog off, and it was some new terminology insult. Like, "Blog Off!" I think I shall use it as such from now on.

Back in the saddle again

I'm back in project mode and am working on a mini-book for someone. You may know who once it is finished and delivered... Anyway, I took this photo of a little nook in my living room for part of the album. I just thought it was very pleasing so I would post it. That's about all I have to say. Oh! Except, someone made my day at Costco a couple of days ago. These 2 ladies were exclaiming over how cute and small Bella was- (it is inevitable at this point. Bella insists on sitting in the cart, and she looks so tiny sitting upright in the big cart. She can practically fall through one of the leg slots if I don't keep a constant hand on her, so she attracts all kinds of oohs and ahhs.) Anyway, they said, "look at her, she's just mini! But look at you, You're just mini!" Mini, me? excellent deception :)

Who is her agent?!!

I saw the most disturbing thing while putting on my makeup today. I was watching Regis & Kelly and Roseanne Barr was there promoting a new dvd- FOR KIDS!!! Wha? wh.. why.. wha'? WHO thought that ROSEANNE should do ANYthing for kids?! Do they know who she is? And possibly even more disturbing than that- she sings on it! Hello? Do they forhet about the National Anthem? She can't sing! She was singing a song about being down on the donut farm, and don't eat too many or you'll get a tummy ache. Oh, and she was wearing pink cowboy boots and hat with a poodle skirt. Mmm hmmm....So frightening. Maybe her same agent will be getting a deal for Andrew Dice Clay, or perhaps Howard Stern? No, that's going too far. They certainly can't sing, and they would look even worse in a poodle skirt.

Fridge Art

I've been in such a funk the last week that I decided to make a little something to help me remember all of the little but important things I need to do in a day. A visual reminder. I made this last night and finished it today, and hung it on my fridge where I can see it everyday. Voila! I am trying to suck it up and take sontrol of my life and the little things that get to me. This will serve as a reminder to do the things that will bring me peace and happiness. :)
p.s. and I did something I said I would never do- I X-acto'd my title! ("everyday")

Ranting and Raving

So I apologize up front for the attitude of this post- it will not be very positive. I will try to condense as much as I can while still retaining the integrity of the story :) Some of you know what Timm's job arrangement consisted of: He ran a scuba shop, and in turn, took the store's profits each month. Based on last year's sales, we were supposed to make a good $8000 more than we had been making a year, which would have made life comfortable. (i.e. not watching every single penny, just every nickel...) Well, we kept on for about 6 months, waiting for the payoff we expected, but each month was just not quite as good as we had hoped. Well, January the store took a loss of almost $3,000. The shop's owner gave us a pity $1,000 for us to live on, and luckily we have some student loans to make up the difference. We decided that we couldn't keep on doing this. The business arrangement was just not proving as productive as we needed it to be. It's really unfortunate for a few reasons. This was the first time since I've known Timm that he didn't have 3 jobs. He scheduled himself, so it was flexible. He never had to work Sundays, and he was home most nights by 8 pm instead of 11. He still wasn't hanging around the house all the time, but I saw him some nights and every Sunday. He was the boss, so it was flexible. He and the store owner decided that with Timm's school schedule he just didn't;'t have the time to devote to running the shop the way it was needed. So the new arrangement is that Timm will be paid by the hour. The problem: with his heavy school load (17 1/2 credits) he will only make about $1000 a month. We don't know what else he can do. He is already at school for 15 hours some days of the week, and has a part-time job at BYU as well. I don' tknow what we're going to do. We have to consider all of our options- I'm even thinking of getting a paper route in the wee hours. My dad did that supplementary for a few years, and Rachelle does that now as a single mom so she can stay home with her son. It sounds absolutely horrible, but like I said, we have to explore all of our options. (I guess it's a really good thing that it turned out I wasn't pregnant!) Oh, and the real stickler of it all... Obviously we won't be buying our new place :( For those of you who didn't know, we had put money down on a condo that is in construction and we were going to move in June. It was going to be brand-new and we were going to get to pick out our materials and everything. We're going to have to see if we can get our money back and continue renting. Ah, the American dream has died. Obviously I'm pretty bummed about this all, but I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip. The world I escape to in my book is filled with much more suffering than this so I am trying to keep a perspective. However, I still don't know how we're going to make it... Even if we can manage to survive monthly, we're back to that dismal existence where we can't ever take a day off because we can't afford for Timm to miss work- if the car breaks down we have no reserves to fix it, we have no money for gifts for people's birthdays, definitely no discressionary money so we wait for birthdays and Christmas to cash in... I'm sorry I'm just complaining, but I need a sounding board to vent to. I know many of you will understand this, so I needed to vent somewhere. Please forgive the self-pity. I'll get over it.
*Any ideas for a job for me?*

At last!!!

I am finally done my HOF compilations, and they are going in the mail tomorrow! I am so excited to be done with them. I am excited for the progress and all the layouts I've done, but really glad to be done with the tedium of compiling them for submission. Whew! Now I can enjoy scrapping again without a deadline :) I have more grievous news to report tomorrow ot the financial front. I am too down-trodden to write anything worthwhile about it right now. Till tomorrow then... I'm off to lose myself in the world of books, as Max would say. It beats drugs or over-eating! Ah... where would I be without my other worlds I escape to in books?

Blahs...

I apologize because this is probably going to be kind of a dismal post... I feel out of sorts. I feel like I have the blahs... I am excited because I have gotten so much scrapping done in my HOF pursuit, but at an expense... i get so focused on whatever project or idea that I adopt at any given time that I let other things slip...I am eating erratically, and it's bugging me because I feel like I only have to be 'bad' on my diet for a few days before I feel like I've ruined it all and I have to start all over! Obviously that's not so, but I am so polar sometimes. I swing so high, and so low, and sometimes I just wish I could meet in the middle and stay there for a while. I feel out of control very easily, if I don't feel like I have everything in my life micro-managed. I wish I was more easy-going, and more even-keel. (Like Timm, Michelle, and my dad. ) I admire these qualities in them, and I'm just glad that I have them to help keep me balanced.

Rubons and Ribbon and Brads, Oh My!

I am SO excited. I just finished my favorite layout I've done in a long time. Maybe ever- EVER! This is brand new ground for me. This is unheard of. I don't know what's happened, but I love it! Of course I can't show you, although I will show Michelle tomorrow. Now I can sleep happily! :D

Frightening, isn't it?

This is how I feel when Mr. pees on things. I finally reached out though. I emailed an animal rescue group locally to beg them to take Mr. If they don't, then he'll just have to go to the shelter or something. (The one in SLC that doesn't euthenize.) This time he peed on Bella's bouncer seat. I screamed, then ran downstairs and typed the email before I lost my nerve or my sense of indignation. They better write back soon. He really is a good cat otherwise, if anyone without kids wants him! ;)
On a better note- today is one of my favorite days of the month because my Simple Scrapbooks magazine came today! (That's about as good as my mail gets.) Thanks to Michelle for the subscription last year- it's the gift that keeps on giving. Now if only there were more than 6 issues per year. I also get Creating Keepsakes (my favorite), Real Simple, Shape, and Family Fun! All gifts of course- all courtesy from Shell except for Real Simple which my mom put in my stocking this Christmas. Oh, and the Ensign of course. *What are you favorite magazines?*