More Choices!

I can't get Jill's post about Choices out of my head. I'm in a real funk lately, and I can't seem to pull myself out of it. Especially diet-wise, but I won't go into that because it will bore you all. I think I have been living in a kind of haze where I 'choose' to believe that my choices don't really matter. Our lives are full of millions of small choices that seem to amount to nothing, and I think the adversary lulls us to believe that they are inconsequential, when nothing could be farther from the truth. As a homemaker, in my current state of life, I am not faced with seemingly 'major' choices that will affect my eternal destiny- rather, I am faced with many small choices that shape and mold me. I guess for me it is easier to see and believe the outcome of choosing to, say, live a chaste life, than the seemingly inconsequential choice of whether to eat cookies for breakfast. However, Thomas S. Monson said:

"It has been said that the gate of history turns on small hinges, and
so do people's lives. The choices we make determine our
destiny."

I know this will sound really strange, but sometimes I feel like my bad or maybe just mediocre choices show on my face. I just feel really 'blah' lately, and when I look at myself in the mirror, I LOOK different. My bad choices are reflected in my face (and a few pounds on my body!) and I don't think anyone else can notice, but there is some kind of physiological difference that is blatant to me. I can't get all of this out of my mind- I am having an 'aha!' moment of epiphany, and I hope that it all sticks. I am really trying to be conscious of every choice I am making and the outcome that will follow. I think the adversary really has a good thing going by having us believe that our choices are small and irrelevant. We really do have so many choices, and large or small, they really DO matter, and they really DO shape us- as well as other people! Thanks for the thought Jill...

Another Day at the Park

Today was a delightful spring day, so Hannah came over and we went to the park for a little while. (Anything for good photo opps!) Hannah helped me with a few basic functions of my new camera and I got some good shots. I love the way her face is framed by the plastic tubing in these! My problem is I have a good eye for photography, but I don't know the mechanics of my camera very well. I need to spend some time reading the manual, and I wouldn't mind taking a class either. I'm keeping the one at UVSC in mind that Jenn as well as Bridget have taken. I've enjoyed just lazing around the last couple of days and not being so busy. I even got a layout done today about how much Bella eats. I'm going to submit it for Creating Keepsakes' 'Fresh Face'. I'll let ya know, but it'll probably be "non" news.

Introductions

The time has come for everyone who even occasionally reads or comments on my blog to introduce themselves. Not for me obviously, but for everyone else. I know that there are several people who comment and see other's comments, and have no idea who each other are. It's time to clear that up. Please leave a comment introducing yourself and how you do or do not know me. Then we'll all feel a little more intimate. This means all of you: those who faithfully comment, those who occasionally comment, those who faithfully read and never comment, those who are looking at this for the first time: ALL. (Amie, where did this misconception come from that I don't like 'strangers' commenting? I love and welcome ALL commenters. And I will post those recipes, but gimme some time, it'll take a few minutes. I have not forgotten.) So- now, "talk amongst yourselves." Let's get to know each other. I may learn something too.

New Carpet Day!!

It seems I have been so busy the last few days! Too busy if you ask me, which is evidenced by my pronounced lack of blogging. Well no more! (I hope.. at least for now.) It's just dumb household things, but everything is under control. We have a freezer stocked full of food, a very clean house, clean and folded laundry, an organized scrap room, and new carpet! (These are the things that have kept me busy for the last few days...)That should keep me happy for at least a few days, in which time I plan to scrap for the first time in weeks! I will have to post pictures of my latest scrap organization later.
Yesterday we got our new carpet in, and I am very excited. The color is still gross, and I would have never picked it out, but I am focusing on the very positive: It is NEW, it is CLEAN, and it is a hundred million times better than our old sick, nasty carpet. And no, that is not a shadow- it is one of at least 3 distinct traffic patterns on the carpet. That one was in fron of the couch.
That was then:




My idea of a nightmare! Furniture piled up everywhere in the kitchen and the bathroom- chaos, and disarray. My nightmare. Hopefully you can tell from these pictures just how gross the carpet was.
This is now:


Yay! (sorry the picture is blurry, I am still trying to learn about photographing low-light conditions)I got everything put back together last night and it feels like home again. The carpet feels so cushy under my feet! It is so comfy and poofy feeling in stark contrast to the flat, worn down berber of days past. Last night I actually laid (sp?)down on it and even drifted off for a few minutes! It is clean cream carpet. For now.
{Help me out people-especially the ladies- Timm says that carpet is carpet. It goes under your feet and otherwise doesn't matter. That means he didn't mind or even notice the old filthy carpet, and likewise doesn't care about the new carpet-whether it is clean or what color it is. Hello?! Is this a girl thing? A mother thing? A homemaker thing?}

Happy Birthdays Mom and Denise!!!

Yesterday I was remiss in not blogging-again!!! I guess I've been bust lately. I'm still busy for the next couple of days, but let's not get carried away. I have certain commitments, and blogging is one of them :)So let's get down to business- Yesterday was my aunt Denise's birthday, and today is my mom's! These are by far 2 of the most wonderful women anyone could know and I count myself lucky to be so closely related to them! (Nevermind Bella's expression in these pictures- they're cute anyway!)

My mom has taught me many valuable things, among them: Turn first to prayer. Whenever I am dealing with something, large or small, and I ask my mom for advice or just find myself venting, she asks, "have you prayed about it?" I hate it when I meekly have to say, 'no.....' She always reminds me what to do! She is also a shining example of generosity, hard work, and not to mention- Talent and Creativity!. Few people exemplify these traits as well as she. She has always been an example for righteousness in all that she does, and I am grateful to be an adult and be able to appreciate that example now. My mother is a wonderful woman and I am so grateful that I count her among my best friends. Happy Birthday Mom! Wish we could be there...

Denise-my mom's youngest sister, hence my aunt. She is also one of my favorite people. I have always looked to Denise as an example for good and beauty in all things. She is an exemplary wife, mother, housekeeper, Latter Day Saint.. She is the kind of woman you wish you could hate because she seems to have it all together, but you can't because she's so easy to love! She is also one of my best friends, and I love her dearly. Happy Belated Birthday Denise!
I love that my family inspires me so. I love that they are my best friends, the company I'd most like to keep, my inspirations, my strength. Today I am grateful for these women in my life and hope I can glean some iota of greatness from their association. I love you two!

Leave of Absence

Ahh.. It's been too long. Yesterday I was without blog because it was one of those days that made me repeat 2 family quotes: 1 from my then-young cousin John. "I quit this job!" He was referring to his chore of unloading the dishwasher. I was referring to motherhood. That reminded me of another quote from a then-young Denise (Johns' now-mother)of "BE the mother! BE the mother!" That was her response when her mother, my grandma, once said she didn't want to be the mother in a fit of frustration. Alas, I must be the mother. We had a disastrous grocery shopping trip yesterday full of crying, dropped binkies and other items, eating the food we hadn't bought yet (on Bella's part, not mine-) forgotten items, wrong items, careening carts, and misplaced coupons. In fact, I lost $20 worth of coupons. Seriously. It was a bad time. The highlight of the day was when we went to the park and Bella got to swing. Nevermind the fact that the infant swing all but swallows her-she was laughing, so I was laughing. I know these pictures are blurry, but they are too cute.

On to today. Cooking day. Actually I started last night, another reason my day was not so full of the joys of motherhood. I started with Timm's help last night at about 8 and finished up here about an hour ago. Now all I have to do is clean up the kitchen! (Not the smallest feat after cooking 9 meals or so....)This time I made: Meatloaf (at Timm's request), Chicken Cacciatore, Cheesy Beef and Rice Casserole, Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas, Chicken Enchilada Casserole, Spaghetti Pie, Curried Chicken with Chickpeas (shown here)and regular Chicken with Chickpeas. I think that's all. I have a lot of domestic duties the next couple of days and will be glad when the middle of next week rolls around... I'm going to go try to put my feet up before cleaning the kitchen.

Mock not...

...Lest ye be mocked. Remember how I made fun of my grandma's confetti-cake type carpet when I was visiting there? (Well if not, that's what the archives are for. February.) Yeah well, that's apparently what I'm in for. My landlord is finally replacing our sick-nasty berber carpet that makes me gag. (Hooray!) He is replacing it with a cream carpet with flecks. (Hiss!)Cream. CREAM! Why? Why would a landlord replace one sick carpet that has not worn well with another? Why would you put a carpet that is bound to show every speck of dirt in your rental that houses a baby who notoriously spits up all over it several times a day? (I know it sounds like I'm yelling at you, but I'm really not, I'm just venting.)Sigh. I'm dreading it. I am really excited about the *idea* of new carpet, just not this new carpet. Also, he tried to put a positive spin on a dumb thing like I'm a moron. He said, " Now the only thing you guys will have to do is move all the furniture, but they'll remove the old carpet, so you don't have to worry about that." Wow! What kind of new-fangled idea is that? What high-class company is he going with that they'll even remove the old carpet? Amazing, really. I was prepared to rip it out myself. *whatever*
Then the salt in the wound was later this afternoon someone from Sundance homes called me to set up an appointment to pick out the materials in our new condo. (Erroneously-apparently they were confused and didn't realize that my husband's salary had recently been reduced by about 75% and we were no longer buying the place.) I know it doesn't sound like it, but I'm really okay with not buying it. Once I was over the initial disappointment I realized that it's probably for the best. It was just an ill-timed call. Also, I realize that I'm lucky to be getting new carpet at all, I just needed a sounding board, and that is the purpose of this post. No need for sympathy since I know I don't need any. Just venting is all.
On a cuter note, here is a cute picture of Bella, and a cute one of she and I. I took her swimming for the first time yesterday at the Orem Rec Center. It was so cute! At first she cried and insisted I held her close for warmth, but then she warmed up to it. (pun intended) She started to splash and laugh and talk. We'll have to go back soon. It was a good debut for before we go to 7 Peaks weekly this summer. (I feel a compulsion to post pictures, so even though the majority of this post really has nothing to do with her, here she is. A happy face.)
*Oh, and if any more complete strangers comment on the fact that she must really love carrots, I might lose it. Leave the girl alone!

To clean or not to clean?

I do not love to clean. I do however, love a clean house, and that is what drives me to clean. It may even go beyond loving a clean house- I think I need it for my sanity. And even more than clean, I need organization. I live my life by the adage- 'A place for everything, and everything in it's place.' I may even be borderline OCD about it. I cannot stand to have even one extraneous item around the house. Everything has to be put away. I've toyed with several methods, or 'schedules' of cleaning (yet another OCD aspect, I have to have a 'schedule' for it) and I'm not sure I've yet found one that really jives with me and my life. I used to try and clean the whole house every Monday, but with an infant to care for, found the constant interruptions frustrating. If I finished it to my satisfaction it would often take until 10 pm, or run into the next day. Then I tried doing small things for each day of the week (i.e. vacuum the whole house on Monday, bathrooms on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday) so I never had a huge project ahead of me. Now I am trying to clean the upstairs on Tuesdays and the down on Thursdays. I make sure that everyday I pick up, wipe up, vacuum at least every couple of days. I just run into the problem of negative thinking- (like I do in so many areas of my life-) I think, 'What's the point? I feel like I just did this yesterday! It's just going to be dirty/messy again in a couple of days and then I'll have to do it again!' My problem is that I have a very black or white personality. I am all in, or I am all out. No gray area, no in-betweens. So I want to know on a more trivial level- what kind of cleaning 'schedule' do you keep, and does it work for you? Do you have any tricks or techniques? And on a more serious level- How do you keep from being easily overwhelmed or frustrated with the monotony of it all? How do you keep up with it and still find time to do things for you? I guess I basically just need a life lesson in balance and moderation as I have expressed before. I just really, really wish I weren't so polar in my emotions and outlook. Really craving some balance here.
*Jill and Denise- I know you are particularly good housekeepers, so I am waiting to hear from you, and all of you!

Another Book

This is the book I made for my aunt Denise for her birthday. It's an idea book for her creative sketches, notes, and magazine clippings. I've posted before how keeping my own Idea Book seems to have helped revolutionize my style, and indeed helped me find it. I reference it all the time, am constantly writing down ideas and sketching them out- I encourage everyone to keep one! Even if you're not a scrapper, your ideas about anything! It helps squeeze the creativity out of everyone, in any arena. I am in love with these notebooks since Jill turned me onto them. You can find them at Target (of course) for $3.49, or $2.49 on the East Coast. (don't ask me why!) They are spiral bound with chipboard covers, 3 divided sections with tabs and folders, and a great elastic to keep it closed. There are 4 color variations: black, lime, blue, and fuschia. The pages are also lined and edged in the same color. I love them! But beware if you frequent the Orem Target- I buy them whenever they ahve them! (No, I'm not getting paid for this endorsement-)
Michelle received the one I made for her yesterday, so you can check it our on her site too. :)
I have taken a few pictures with my new camera (Canon S2 IS, since some of you have asked...) and can't wait to post them, but I have to download my software first, so maybe tomorrow.
*How do you organize your ideas?*

Fun Day

Last night was great fun- we had Robin, Mark, Hannah, and Lincoln over for a night of dinner and Catan. (As in "Settlers of-") I think we should make it a more regular event, although I fear monopolizing the hosting card since we don't have a lot of options where Bella is concerned. Anyone up for a more regular event of gaming?
Today has been a pretty fun day! I went to do fun errands-a favorite rarity. I am making some journals for 3 of my nieces on commission for my mother-in-law, so buying supplies for them has been a great vacation from my scrap supply fast. (I have not bought any scrap supplies for myself this month. It's been a long month so far.) So I got a few last supplies for them before I start to create them tonight. I also picked up my new camera!!!

I am so excited. Michelle and I have been researching new digital cameras for a little while, and I finally settled on this one. I can't believe it, I am so excited! (Sadly the only way we afforded it was from the earnest money we received back from our failed condo deal-oh well!)It has 5 megapixels and 12x optical zoom! (12x!) I'm sure there will be a barrage of new pictures everyday now that I have access to a good camera. (Okay, there may not be an actual 'barrage' until we have high-speed internet and it doesn't take 20 minutes to load 1 picture!)More to come...
Also exciting: At least one person received a package from me today- Jill! I don't know whether the other one has yet, so I can't spoil it with a picture, but here's what Jill got today. I love making/giving something to someone when you know (or least hope) they will love it! Very exciting.
The only downer: now Timm is sick. I think this thoroughly debunks the myth that there is no such thing as a 24-hour flu. First of all, how would I get food poisoning from oatmeal-made with water, no less? Second of all, how would the whole family get sick from my oatmeal-food-poisoning? Not possible if you ask me. Sounds like an 18-hours-or-less flu. Guests of last night: I sincerely hope none of you are sick or will be in the near future. Please forgive us, but also remember: you were warned ;)
Stay tuned for posts of my latest scrap organization!

'Cat Flu?'

If it's possible, I think my cats caught my flu. I don't think it's zoonotic, but they're sick anyway. I certainly won't go into detail, but it's disgusting. Plus, I don't feel the same motherly duty to take care of them. Gross.
p.s. Smegel isn't actually sick in this picture, I just thought it was funny...

Happy Birthday Rachelle!!

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to one of my best friends, Rachelle. She is 23 years old today. I hope you don't mind me saying, but you seem older. I suppose it's due in part to what you've been through the last couple of years. Today I want to say that Rachelle was weathered hardship with courage and vigilance and I am proud of the way she's lived her life. She has not wavered in the face of difficulty and can hold her head high because of the faithfulness she's shown despite trials. I admire her in many ways, and hopefully you will all get to know her better soon when she starts her own blog! Happy Birthday Rachelle- I love you!

Sick Baby

My baby is sick, and I did it to her :( I suppose it really is the flu and not food poisoning, or I wouldn't have transferred it to her. I was out with the girls for Rachelle's birthday, and all was going great! Then Timm called me at about 10:00 and told me he needed me home right away. Bella had thrown up everywhere and she and her crib were a mess. I got home as soon as I could, and found them bathing together. Despite the sadness of the situation, it was really cute. Timm didn't even bat an eye... (does that sound too feminine?) Okay, Timm didn't even 'flinch' whenever she vomited on him, which was several times. He just kept rinsing her off, and running hot water over her for her chills. She totally zoned out and just leaned forward, letting him rinse her in hot water. Her was very sweet to her. I have to say that we are both so fortunate that Timm is such a great dad- I have no complaints in that department! I changed her and rocked her (very slowly to avoid motion sickness) and she threw up a few more times. I've been in once more since then, but I hope she'll be okay for a while. I can't imagine there's anything left in her. I've never had a sick baby- I don't know what I'm doing! Despite the sadness of having a sick baby, it does offer some insight. Rather, clarity to insight I have already gained. I love being a mother. I suppose if I can say that even on a night that involves vomit-duty, I'm in a good place. I love my little girl, and I am grateful to have been chosen to be her mother. It's one of those cliches about parenthood that you find are really true- You never know how much you can love somebody, something, until you have a child of your own. I don't love Bella any more than I love Lola, but it's different. In this life I feel like I have something to offer Bella, to do for her. A daunting responsibility of caring for her and teaching her right from wrong. I get to feel the physical responsibility of caring for her, and thus the love that creates. With Lola, the only thing I can do fro her on this earth is live so that I am worthy to be with her again. She is the perfect one that does not need anything from me except for me to be worthy to be her mother again. Maybe I have the best of both worlds, and it is not such a trial after all? Some days I feel more blessed than others, and some days I feel mournful. Luckily, it;s getting to be more of the former. I know one thing for sure- I am so grateful to have both of my girls, and today I am very grateful to have Bella on this earth to care for. In sickness and in health.

I'm Back, Baby!

SO most of you probably didn't know that I went anywhere in the first place, but I had what I can only surmise was the stomach flu yesterday. I *think* it's gone already, due in part to Timm coming through like a hero to take care of me. Yesterday was rough, and all I'll say is that I was *violently* ill. I called Timm to come home from class, and then skip work so I could retreat. (I've never been sick since having Bella, and truth be told, didn't really know what to do. ) I had the whole works with chills, hot flashes, etc.. It's a good thing he came home because it wasn't long after that I became so physically ill. I haven't really seen Bella until 10:00 this morning, and I think all is well. Timm went to a lab for school, and then is going to work. Barring anymore illness, I should be in good form for Applebees tonight with the girls... I fear infecting anyone though. Maybe it's not such a good idea after all. We'll see I suppose.

Project Gallery

Since I fear another 'demotion' from Jill, I thought I'd post some pictures of projects past. Plus, this way I can pretend that I am published somewhere other than my own blog and get my 'scrapbook celebrity' fix! Sometimes you just need to show people who are in the scrapbook world so they can appreciate it. Have you ever shown someone something you've made and feel like you didn't get an adequate response? That's why you have to show fellow crafters, because they get it. (Seriously though, this is not a cry for praise, but again merely a forum to blog off.)
This is a blurry photo of a card I made for my parents after our Nantucket trip in September.
This is one side of a book I made for Michelle thanking her for all the times she's been there for me.

This is a layout I did for my in-laws for Christmas- sorry the top and bottom are cut off!
HEre is a card I made for my In-Laws a few months ago.
This is a mini-Clipboard frame I made for my mom to put in her office.
This is another clipboard I made for my mom for Christmas.

Struggling

Here is an example of a typical blogging experience for me... Smegel is obsessed with the cursor on the computer and trying to get at it. He chatters like cats do with an excitement usually reserved for birds and the like, purrs, bats at the monitor, and occasionally loses himself and smacks his head on the screen in his attempt to get the cursor. Some of you are thinking how funny this must be, and others are thinking how annoying... You would all be correct.
I need help. (In more ways than one, but in the interest of time we'll just focus on one this morning-) I am struggling with my diet. I don't rightly know why... after I've lost so much weight you think that would be reason and inspiration enough to keep on going and certainly not to gain any of it back. Sadly, I think of it somewhat like sin, in that, I think it's better to never slip up in the first place. I think I got off track somewhere by making food allowances, and then it's harder to right yourself after indulging. (I know- drawing moral relationships to food cannot help in trying to have a healthy relationship with it)It's days like these that it's hard to remember the wisdom gleaned from grandma that I wrote about in a former post. I think it will be a life-long test for me to try and gain balance in my life, as well as a healthy perspective on myself that is neither too critical nor too lenient. At this point I feel like I'm starting from scratch. Yesterday was supposed to be my new beginning, and it was a bust. I wish I had a live-in diet partner again (Ahem, mom...) I don't know why I'm having such a hard time, but I'm so frustrated to have gained some weight back, and now I have about 13 pounds to lose. Not so much in the scheme of things I know, but frustrating none the less. Especially since my weight-loss has pretty much stagnated in the last 3 or 4 months. I want to get back on the losing track! I need diet inspiration here, people.
(Also, please note that these posts are in no way intended to ellicit sympathy or words of flattery- merely a place to vent and blog off.

Funky Town

Well I'm feeling kind of in a funk today after my HOF disappointment. I just feel kind of down and slothful, so I think I'm going to spend the day at home and do some organizing. I'm also going to recommit to my diet today. Seeing as how I am disappointed by something I ultimately have no control over, (HOF) I am going to exercise something I do have control over- my own habits. So I made a little book for a new food diary, and taking a cue from Michelle, will try and be diligent about writing down everything I eat. My weight and eating habits are something I can control, and contribute to my well-being, so I am going to try and do something about it. *Sigh* Too bad dieting isn't as much fun as being a scrapbooking celebrity...
{Alas, I am without pictures because my USB isn't working... damn those technical difficulties}
Book Club was fun last night. (We missed you Diana and Amanda! It was me, Robin, Hannah, Bridget, Rachelle, and Amy. I like our little group- I think we are a unique blend of women with a lot of different things to contribute and we mesh well. Thanks for coming guys,and sorry I didn't read! (BTW Jill- The reason for me not finishing the book was content related, not just laziness or out of time...) But still, sorry girls. I'll try to not be offended again :)

Not a Hall-of-Famer

It's 5:00. I received no phone call today :( All in all I know I have very little to complain about in life, but I am still dissapointed. Oh well- time to make some new layouts to submit as a CK "Fresh Face" I guess!

Random thoughts of Uselessness

Following is a lot of random information:
*I love days like this- lots of blustery snow falling while I get to sit in my warm house sipping Postum, just watching it all happen. No place to go. It's days like this that I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom! I apologize to everyone who has to haul themselves out and commit themselves to the shackles of the work-a-day world today!
Okay, I just went it to check on Bella and her bum was all wet. Finding it hard to believe that she was wet, I did a little investigating and found that she had pulled out at least half of the wipes in the package. I didn't know she even knew how to open it! There was a heap of wipes at least 6 inches tall, and I was going to take a picture, but guess what? That's right, my camera doesn't work. How can an aspiring Hall of Famer not have a working camera?)
*Which leads me to say that today is the day. The day that I will not hear from Creating Keepsakes. Today is the day that the rules state that the winners will be notified by phone. I really have no expectations. I wish like anything that I could win- that would be my dream come true, but I really don't feel like I will, and that's okay. Even if I did win, I couldn't tell you because they make you sign a confidentiality agreement until they release the names to the 'press'.
*Today is also book club day, at my house. I am making Lemon Chicken with rice and broccoli with Blue Cheese sauce. (Not Weight Watchers friendly... I'm struggling and wish I had a live-in diet 'pogner' like my mom.) We are reading White Oleander which I couldn't even bring myself to read (sorry BC- we'll discuss tonight!)It'll be fun to hang out with the girls :)
*Have you heard about the side effects they've discovered to the sleep drug Ambien? So weird! First was the 'sleep driving' where people wouldn't even remember getting int he car and would arrive at a destination and wake up. Now- 'sleep eating'! They news said that it aroused a 'caveman-like' instinct to binge eat, consuming thousands of calories without ever waking up. Ew. Caveman eating!
* I just went in to check on Bella again, and I couldn't find her! (It's a small room, and she's gated in, so there weren't a whole lot of possibilities short of child-abduction.) She had climbed under the gate and climbed all the way to the top of the stairs, and was looking down at me, beaming. (I have to keep the gate raised off the ground so my cats can get under.)She loves to climb stairs, and is really fast. I guess I'll have to lower the gate a bit...
*Have you seen the weirdest, creepiest, dumbest, and just plain freaky Skittles commercial? The guy is sitting in a job interview and has like 3-foot long beard that is also a hand and is feeding him Skittles, then he also feeds the interviewer woman a Skittle with his hairy beard hand? It's gross, creepy, and makes absolutely no sense. Anyone? ('Bueller, Bueller?')
*Have you heard about this autistic boy, "J-Mac"? He's a high school kid, and apparently has worked as a manager of his HS basketball team, sitting on the bench for a couple of years. Recently at a game, his coach put him in for the first time and in just a few minutes he scored like 20 points, tying the HS record!!! It's making national news, he met the president, all kids of good stuff. It warmed my heart :)
* Those are my various tidbits of random information this morning. Oh, and for a birthday update, visit Shell's site for a picture of her presents!!
(I really need to get a camera. And soon.)

Happy Birthday Michelle!!!

Today is Michelle's 35th Birthday, so a big shout out to her!! I am so excited about the gift I am giving her. I love it when you have a gift that is so perfect (I think...) that you just can't wait to give it and see the expression on their faces. I would post a picture, but a) I haven't given it to her yet, and b) My camera still sucks. But here's a surprising hint: I didn't make it!! (That saved some time!) I can't wait. Michelle is an amazing sister and friend, and I am so lucky to call her both. I love you Shell!
Yesterday was a pretty cool day. I went to Target to do a return and got a cute black cardigan that I needed, and a black tank top. I am very excited about the tank- they are on sale for 5.99 until Saturday and they are 'long and lean'- perfect for layering underneath everything so that I'm not constantly exposing myself. (Not a pretty sight-I'm doing the world a favor.) I want to go back and get several colors. You should check it out- cheap until Saturday. There are 2 different styles also, one has a high back and is pure cotton, and the one I got is a stretchy blend with a scoop back. Both are Mossimo brand. I realize that may be boring detail for some of you, but I also thought some of you may want to partake and needed the necessary details. After picking that up I also got some scrapbook storage that is actually for hardware. It's a wall-mountable until of plastic drawers. I can't wait to organize! Then- the best part of all- I saw a friend that I've been trying to find for about 3 years! She moved to Virginia and I lost track of her, and then I ran smack into her at Target! (I LOVE Target!) It was so good to see her, and we caught up for a while and are going to get together. (It's Nancy for the maybe one person who knows her- Bridget...) She has a baby girl that's just 2 months younger than Bella, and her name is Sophia. I was so excited, and I can't wait to get together with her. Yay for reunition!(is that a word?) It was strange, I mentioned something about Lola, just assuming she knew about her since it seems everyone does, but she didn't. So I gave a quick explanation, and I got all choked up! It's strange... I think about Lola everyday, but I rarely have those serious pangs of sadness... I think it's due to my medication that I rarely cry anymore. It's just a side effect I guess, and one that I've largely been okay with. However, I inadvisably took myself off of my meds about a month or so ago and I'm finding a welcome return of more emotion. (Some of you may be wondering if I possibly need more emotion-) So I credit the teariness to that. I kind of welcome it because like I said, I think of Lola each and every day. She is my first born, my baby girl, my perfect daughter waiting for me in heaven, but I rarely cry about it. I welcome the tears as a way to remember the emotion I felt at seeing her, holding her, having her...

Monday Minutiae

Today is back to business as usual after the weekend and our trip. I am going to clean my upstairs and go do some fun errands. I am going to Joann's to stake out some fabric for a valance in my kitchen and a tabbed curtain for my hideous sliding glass door in my kitchen. (Then I can take down the vertical blinds which are what I really hate!) I have a ton of laundry to do and other household chores. This post is lame but I felt a duty to post something, and this is all I have time for. Are you doing anything fun today?
p.s. what a cruel trick my scale played on me today- I did my usual Monday weigh-in, and the first reading told me I lost 7.5 pounds in the last 2 weeks! That would have meant that I only had 1 pound from where I was before I gained. I was so excited, I did a double-weigh (I always do just for accuracy) and then I weighed 6.5 pounds more than the first reading, thus only losing 1 pound in the last 2 weeks. Then I proceeded to step back on the scale 5 more times so I would know which one to trust. The verdict? The fat reading. Dangit.

Today's Featured Site

I have been remiss. Robin, please forgive me. I don't know why I didn't link you earlier or why I am not as obsessive about checking your live journal as I am other blogs. I think it is because Live Journal is foreign unchartered territory and so I find it a little scary. Also, I like pictures, and yours never has pictures. I am juvenile in this respect. However, I always enjoy your posts, and decided that it was foolish, indeed if not disrespectful, to not link you and be just as obsessive where you are concerned. So consider me your new internet stalker, and I'm only sorry I made you wait so long for my unwelcome advances.
Everyone, check out Robin's Live Journal that she had way before any of us even knew how to blog or how we ever lived without it. Her latest post considers the merits of a Mix-In Frosty versus the pure good stuff. Weigh in.

Nothing of Import

Not much to report this Sunday...My goal to attend all 3 meetings didn't go so well today. We made it through Sacrament meeting okay, but then had to come home to put Bella down for a nap. By the way, she started saying nonsensical 'da-da' a couple of days ago and now she can't stop. Strangely it coincided with our return home and her seeing her dad for the first time in a week. (Coincidence? I'd like to think not...) In fact, last night we were watching a romantic comedy, Just Like Heaven, and in her sleep Bella let out one distinct 'da da' in her sleep. No crying or fussing, just those 2 little syllables. So cute. By the way again, if I had a working camera, I would take a picure of Bella wearing the cutest red sailor dress with white polka-dots. She also wore black patent leather boots with it today and a red clip in her hair. I love to dress my little girl.

Our home teachers just left, and their visit prompted me to enforce a new cat policy. Whenever we have visitors, the cats will immediately be locked up unless the visitors request to have them let out. (Except of course, for Robin and Mark whose purpose in coming over is solely to see the cats, and not us as they would like us to believe...)The cats were head-butting our poor Home Teachers the entire time! Non-stop. I guess it was really just Dobby. I kept apologizing and shooing her away and telling them I wouldn't be offended if they just smacked her. They claim it's okay and they like her, but I'm not so sure. I was so embarrassed. It happens every time. So maybe we could just clear this up ahead of time- Who of you would prefer that the cats be imprisoned for the duration of your visit, and who enjoys the kitty molestation?

"Trip" Highlights

Wow- what a long trip it's been. We're back in town finally, and while I had a wonderful time, I'm still glad to be home. I don't even want to discuss the trip home. If Michelle isn't too traumatized from it, maybe you can read about it on her site! All I can say is, I'm not traveling on a plane until Bella is 16. Maybe 17. (Or Eva for that matter) To simplify conversation while we were together, I renamed the girls 'Beva'. (As in all the stupid celebrity couple names they have like 'Bennifer', 'Tomcat', or the very worst, 'Branjolina'...)So I'm not traveling until 'Beva' is 16.
And what a long blogging hiatus it has been! I tried to keep up, but I hope not to ever let so many days lapse again between posts. So here goes with some trip highlights. I don't have all of the pictures we took on the trip at hand, so here is just one of the trip highlights for now.

1. Tomato Pie. Yum. It is a pizza from Franco's that has a very thin crust and hardly any Parmesan cheese, and lots of tomatoes! It is sweet, and oh so good. There is nothing like Pizza from the East Coast. It is unmatched anywhere else, especially in the west, and Tomato Pie is one of my favorite things. We had it 2 nights.
2. Philly Cheesesteak. Again, unmatched. Never try to order one from a resteraunt anywhere outside of Philly, especially chain resteraunt. They don't know what they're doing. It's sacrilege.
3. Seeing Erin again- (see post "Old Friends...Good Times")
4. Going to church in my home ward for the first time in years. Seeing old friends and showing off my baby girl. (After seeing Bella I think they may be under the impression that I turned out okay after all-)
5. Going to my mom's store(s). I wish I wish I wish I had pictures to show but they're on another disc. See Shell's blog for beautiful pictures.
6. Getting things from my mom's store(s). I can't wait to put it all away! I mostly got things for my kitchen in a yellow and orange motif. My kitchen is going to get a not so extreme but really really cute home makeover soon! (I'll be sure to post those pictures!)
7. Cleaning the basement. For those of you who don't know, that's actually why we went there in the first place- to help mom unpack her basement that has been untouched for the last 2 years since they moved)We uncovered countless treasures. I re-lived the past, and took home a bunch of cast-offs too! Mom has to ship us I think 6 boxes of our things. Oh Dear.
8. Seeing a guy lift weights in his car while driving on the freeway. That's right. On our last night there we made a last-minute trip to the local Target (of course)and saw a man driving with his right hand, and his left hand out the window with a dumbell, pumping iron. I'm serious. We laughed so hand I think he may have heard us.
I guess that proves there really is no excuse for having no time to work out.
9. And of course, just spending time with my family. I thought I enjoyed having alot of alone time, but I think maybe I'm just used to it. I mean, I enjoy a certain measure of alone time, but I feel lonely today just being me and Bella again. (She probably does too.) I can't wait until more of my family can live by each other. I feel dumb that Shell and I only live 10 minutes apart and while we talk every day,we maybe see each other once a week.
I miss my mom. And my dad. :(

"vacation"?

Okay, I'm going to have to try to make this fast. I have no business blogging since I have had a hard day, or at least night, and it is getting to be late. but what can you do when your public awaits? well, first of all, read Shell's blog for an update of the Philly Cheesesteak experiment. Horrid. The sandwich was great, though not neccessarily worth the torture we endured for it. What she failed to mention was how weird the babies were the rest of the day as well. (A disclaimer for Bella: I'm pretty sure I see her top two teeth coming in, so in her defense she's probably in a lot of pain...) Eva was acting a lot happier than she was yesterday and was chatting away to Bella all day. She was quite cheerful, and thus, loud. For whatever bizarre reason, Bella decided that it was scary. Her face would immediately crumple, lower lip protruding and quivering, and let out a siren of a cry. Inconsolable was she from whatever code insult Eva apparently had just dished out. This happened all day long! By afternoon, Eva had apparently turned the other cheek enough times- now she was offended. The next time that happened, Eva returned with a cry herself, obviously offended that Bella would reject her well-wishes and friendship. It would have been funny if they both didn't seem so genuinely hurt. Weirdos.

Here's to trying to think happy thoughts about the girls. At this rate, I'd be glad to have a day off of motherhood tomorrow. That's the thing once you are a mother- your feet are forever trod on the road of responsibility. 'Vacation' doesn't have the same meaning for a mother. I prefer to say 'trip' instead. That way you don't set yourself up for unrealstic expectations! Fair warning Timm- I'm gonna need a little bit of a break after my 'vacation'.

Finding Balance

Here are a few photos that dad took after church yesterday. I'm not so thrilled with the ones of me, but overall I love them. I think Bella looks so cute, and the one with my dad is priceless.
While internally grumbling about some of the less-than-perfect pictures of myself, I was reminded of something. (really, this is in no way, shape, or form any attempt at fishing. Reality here to follow-)
I've been thinking alot lately about my life. I tend to be very introspective, constantly monitoring my motives. I always stop and wonder why I am doing, thinking, or saying a specific thing. I want to make sure that my motives match up properly with my actions-that I am doing it for the right and righteous reasons. One great guidepost that I have found to use in my life is of course, from my grandma. Most of you hear me talk about her often, and her words of wisdom and how they and her example have shaped my life. She says that "It only has to be okay with me and the Savior." I think that is essential to living a Christ-centered life, which is really what our purpose in life comes down to. In my ongoing pursuit to emulate my grandma, I really trying to internalize this concept. Lately when something is bothering me I first ask myself- 'How important is this?' I try to reasonably assess whether it is something that is worth my worry or attention. Then I ask, 'Is it okay with me?' then 'Is is okay with the Savior?'. If I'm not sure then I pray about it. This concerns everything from the most mudane and seemingly trivial, to more substantial issues. I think all of these shape us and matter to the Lord. One of the issues plaguing me as usual, is my body image. I don't know a woman alive who doesn't at least think about this, if not allow herself to be consumed by it. I have lost a lot of weight, and would like to lose a little more, but I still struggle. I'm trying to be objective and think about things (including my weight) with a more eternal perspective. I'm trying to asssess just how important something is to the Lord and to myself, and then give it due attention. This is going to be my new mantra as I try to live a more Christ-centered life and gain some balance. I tend to veer way off in one direction or another in all that I do and I don't think it is useful or healthy. So in my constant pursuit of balance, I will continue to ask myself only two things- I's this okay with me? Is it okay with the Savior?' Then done and done.

The Tofu Incident

Oh, I couldn't be prouder than my little girl. This is like one of those priceless proud parent moments that cannot be reproduced or recaptured. It's right up there with graduation, marriage... being published in CK. If you've read Shell's blog, then you already know that we offered Bella some plain steamed tofu as the ultimate test to see what she would eat, and- she spit it out. I am still so proud. I'm not kidding when I say that it the first time Bella has ever spit a food out. Ever. Great timing to exercise some restraint and preference.

Old Friends... Good Times.

So last night Erin came and spent a few hours hanging out. It was so good to see her! I haven't seen her since about the time I was pregnant with Lola, so that was about 2 years ago. I love having an old friend, and Erin is definately the oldest! (Not in age though- I don't want to freak Erin out since she has an age complex.)I love that when we see each other it can be as though no time has passed. We had a period of about 2 years where we didn't even talk, mostly because of so many events and changes in both of our lives. It's funny because we really don't have a whole lot in common as far as interests, or our stage of life goes. She's single, and I've already been married, gone to the temple, had 2 children and buried 1 of them. She is a go-getter type of girl, I am a stay at home sloth. She is athletic, I, again, am a sloth. But when we got together last night, it was almost like we were 17 again. (In a good respect- In most other cases I would never want to be 17 again.)We had so mich fun, laughing and catching up. (We've only been back int ouch for about 2 months.) It feels great, and I love her. I am proud of how Erin has stayed true to the gospel despite challenges in her life. None of us are dealt a perfect hand, but we can still make the best of it and live the life that God intends us to, even blesses us with the capability to.
So here's a call to any friends that are hanging out in the wings, causually observing, but not partipating- SPEAK UP! I want to hear from you, near and far, young and old, Scrappers and non alike.... "I'm waiting...."

Trip Update

I hope that I am able to upload pictures.. we are having some technical complications here. It's too bad because now I am in serious need. You see, I have been demoted from Jill's blog from Creative Genious, to just some girl who's giving up sugar. Now I have to try and prove some creativity once again- we'll see. I am trying to post a few pictures of some of the interior of the book I made for my parents. (Oh, they are the recipient of the "If not for You" book.)
Anyway, here we are in windy Philadelphia, my home town. I lived here from the time I was 7-17 and loved it. Now I call Utah home and love it as well, which surprises no one more than it does me.
Like Shell stated, the travel went as well as could be expected. I was very fortunate to sit next to a very kind Indian woman who was just leaving her 6 month old grandaughter, so she was in baby mode. She held her so I could go to the bathroom, talked to her, played with her, helped keep her distracted, and otherwise didn't mind if she got kicked or screamed at. (Though in Bella's defense, there was very little screaming to be had.) The man on the other side of me was a very large man who consumed 3, maybe 4 Beefeater Vodka Tonics, while watching Gunsmoke. (What's up with the name Beefeater?)When we were in a 'holding pattern' waiting to be waved in to land Bella finally started to fuss which prompted a woman to ask me if I had a bottle of tea. She was convinced that she was having trouble with her ears and I should give her tea. (Why would I have a bottle of tea on hand, for a baby no less?) I told her I thought she was just tired, but she said 'No, it's her ears.' Well alrighty then.
Sleeping was a dream last night. Okay that was lame. No pun intended. I'm sleeping on $800 sheets with a featehr bed on top. It is nicer than the finest hotels could offer and a whole lot cuter, cheaper, and friendlier. We are expecting to see Erin later today so I will follow with details!

The Following is an Unpaid Internet Announcement

Lately I have found myself saying to several people something like, "Do you blog? You should check out my blog." Sometimes it's to people I hardly know. (For instance when my Visiting Teachers came over for the first time last night.)I feel kind of stupid doing this, but I have to explain. It's not a self-agrandizing (sp?) effort, I just really like to blog. I give it to people that I like and want to get to know better, because it's such a great way to get to know things about each other that we may otherwise never learn. (For instance, how else would you have known that I haven't shaved in 6 months? Critical information people.) I love that I can read Michelle's blog (who is my sister of close to 25 years in case you didn't know) and find things out for the first time! We're counseled to keep journals, so I'm just trying to be among the faithful. That's what we have here-journals. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't edit much for content. I ask myself, "Is this really something I want put out there for all to know?" Time and time again the answer is a resounding- "I don't know. But here goes!" I think that is why most of our blogs are so interesting, even with people you have known your whole lives. It is an insight- information that you are privy to as if you actually reading old paper diaries of someone you may or may not have known. And the great thing is it works both ways- you also learn of the people that make comments, which incidentally, is another great reason to comment! I love people (most people) and I am loving getting to know each of you more intimately. (Except for 1. the random people who comment after they've stumbled across my site. I appreciate the comments, but there's no intimacy with you yet and 2. Those of you who despite badgering refuse to comment. You know who you are.)I just had to say it. I just had to 'Blog Off.'
And I swear, I'm not getting paid for this. I really like it this much.
I should be getting paid for this. A Blogger Ambassador.

Headaches

I have been stricken by the plague of headaches. I don't understand- I never get headaches. Or I guess, I never used to. I had 2 migraines that I know of 10 years ago when I was about 14. They were the kind that prohibited your speaking- it freaked me out because I was saying all kids of nonsense and had to sleep it off. Back then they were brought on my strenuous eye-work. ( I was helping my dad do some billing and had to write small addresses hundreds of times) So that was the last I'd heard from that hellmaster the Migraine. Until recently. On the day we left Denver to come back home a couple of weeks ago I got a horrible migraine. It started out where I saw halos around everything, so I couldn't really see anything. There were bright white spots everywhere. Then my head started throbbing. Then my fingers and my lips went numb, and then I got nauseous. Augh! It was so horrible. I laid in silence and darkness for a couple of hours while grandma tickled my legs and timm fed me some toast. (it was suggested I may be faking just for the tickling... I miss you grandma.) After 2 or 3 hours it was largely abated, though a dull and bearable throb still lived in the perimeter. (I also took a concoction from grandma of 2 Excedrin and a dramamine) Since then I have a had a headache just about everyday. Nothing remotely like the debilitating Migraine I suffered, but irritating just the same. So I am consulting my resident headache experts, Denise and Jill. What's the dillyo? Why the sudden onset of these headaches? People say it's 'hormonal'. What's that mean? Why am I having a hormonal surge? How can I make them stop? Help me stop the insanity!!!